More education and awareness

“Police records show there has been a significant rise in the number of transgender hate crimes over the last four years - from 361 attacks in the year ending 2012 to more than 600 last year.”

Ok so leading with the shock headline I must state this isn't something I've personally experienced but it emphasises the need for education and awareness. Echoing back to one or two of my earlier posts education is especially important given the above quote from this BBC news article, Here is a re-point to the same BBC post from a few days ago where Stephanie Hurst is helping make the police more aware of Transgender issues to help them help others in turn.

The session she ran is one of a number of similar training programmes running in other areas of the UK.

XD-ing

I have an issue with the word ‘Crossdressing’ or rather, it’s misuse. In day-to-day useage it supports the notion that there are no-go areas for certain genders.

Females continue to have an ongoing battle to gain equality in global society. I’m speaking about the world here so this covers every country from the USA to Saudi Arabia. If as a society, we wish to segregate groups as a principal, then the notion of 'crossdressing' helps this non-constructive cause.

Like Eddie Izzard, I believe that if you buy an item of clothing it is yours, you own it. It doesn’t belong to someone else. I’m not a legal expert but I feel on relitively strong ground here. Clothes may be historically more feminine or masculine but other examples of historical note are slavery* and witch-hunts. Crossdressing is simply a brick in the old world / small world mindset.

*I accept that sadly slavery too is not totally purged from the world - yet.

Our individual expression is ‘ours’. It is by definition personal. It may be feminine or masculine or a mix but to limit expression is a true sin, just as is limiting someones ability in a career because of their genitalia. Whilst not intrinsically tied, notionally support one and you help endorse the other.

Today there was a lady in front of me at the chemist. Her hair was unkempt to say the least, she wore old trainers, baggy jeans and a polo top, so her clothing was that of a typical man of her age. However, at no time did I think ‘Oh it’s a crossdresser’ until writing this. Of course she wasn't crossdressing. She was just wearing something she felt comfortable in.

I started this post off by indicating the word Crossdressing's misuse. So what do I understand the term to mean? Well;

Crossdressing is a term for a fetish practice wherein individuals believe that certain clothes belong 'only' to the opposite 'sex' and wear them purely for fun.

*Sex being different to gender.

In that context it is fine and I can see how it could be fun. Been there got the T-shirt, or was it panties? Everything has a place and a time. If you wear any clothing just because it feels right for you then that's not crossdressing, it's just your clothes. If you're wearing clothes which are not predominantly worn by the genetic sex and you are just doing so for a sexual thrill, it could well be crossdressing. Either way is not wrong or right, but it's important we understand our actions and when to use words correctly. As I said in an earlier post “Words can be used as positive tools but they can trap us if we don't use our minds when we communicate.”

If I'm out and someone thinks I'm crossdressing or says it, I won't get 'cross' if they are being genuine. We all see the world from a unique viewpoint. I'll just take it that they have little experiance of a 'non-binary' perspective on the world, just as I don't understand some other aspect of society.

Life's to short to worry about it - but not to short to try and help.

Finding the door

You don’t always know you’re in a cage until you find a door.

We all live in a prison. It is the prison we build every day when we label the world around us. Some people’s prisons are strong and inescapable. Others are more open. How you think and use language changes these conditions.

The struggle for Transgender rights is only another step on the road for all human rights. Whether it’s the colour of your skin, your gender, your class, your age or some other aspect of ‘you’ that makes you different. It is also the struggle for womens rights, men’s rights and everyones right to personal self expression. To be you, to be free.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was inspired to write this by Sarah McBride’s talk which eloquently focuses on these issues toward the end:

Gender assigned to us at birth should not dictate who we are.

It’s interesting in the 'comments section' of Sarah McBride’s talk on YouTube. Whilst most are positive, the few negative comments seem to focus on the fact she isn’t what they ‘label’ her as. Likewise these negative comments seem to be by individuals who don’t understand the difference between the sex and gender lables. Can they not see in labling (or miss-labling) her they are building a cage for themselves, their families and everyone? So much trouble and negative energy in our world is caused by too little education or miss-understanding. Education free’s us. And we all can learn.

“The sign of intelligence is that you are constantly wondering. Idiots are always dead sure about every damn thing they are doing in their life.”

― Jaggi Vasudev

Words are tools we use to explain things and hopefully clearly communicate. They are not reality. We do need words and labels but we must recognise when a potentially useful label stops being a word ‘we’ use and instead becomes a word that uses us. When this happens it becomes another brick in our cell wall, it becomes our reality.

“People have fallen in love with words and lost the world.” 

― Jaggi Vasudev

When will we learn to treat people as individuals not as a label, a preconception or construct we feel they should be? If we as humans don’t give ourselves these rights no one else can, and we can never be truly free as a species. Until then we will daily create the prison for our mind that is the natural outcome of letting labels control us.

We should allow ourselves the freedom to express who we are without prejudice. We need to give ourselves and our children's children, the right to be free. Words can be used as positive tools but they can trap us if we don't use our minds when we communicate.

We may never truely be free in our own lifetime's, but at least we can begin to define the prision walls and learn where the door may be.

Toilet Talk

Following my last post we inevitably come to the great toilet debate regarding Transgender folk.

When I’m out dressed I will naturally go to the female asigned toilet but I do so because my natural intent is not to upset anyone. Often if there is a ‘disabled’ toilet I will use this if it’s quiet. After all a disabled toilet is for both male and female. Why society can't do this for everyone is totally beyond me?

Also, let me know if I am wrong on this but so far as I understand; in the UK it is perfectly legal for either ‘sex’ to use either restroom.

On a more general note I really cannot see why we logically have gender separate toilets. I speak with some small authority here having had to plan a few building toilet facilities myself. Also I find it uncomfortable to see women queueing for ages while men swoosh past into their little box of no queues. So why don’t we have gender neutral toilets with a smaller percentage of stalls (if any) so everyone can experience a better and swifter visit to the loo. 

Also it’s not just the average straight guy or girl or Trans* who needs the toilet. This is something that is well put in Ivan Coyote’s great TED talk which toward the end speaks of other members of society - not just Transgender.

If you know someone who worries about what will happen if we don’t have separated toilet facilities I suggest you worry less about that issue and more about how they view the world and their motives. Personally when I go to the loo I need to go to the loo (okay maybe check how I look in the mirror too). I spend as little time as I can in there as they arn't the nicest of places genearlly and I want to be back out getting on with my life. Motive is important, something some US politicians get totally confused over. 

I’ll leave you with another article about converting existing restrooms.

So to conclude the link to my previous post on getting out. The world is changing but as Trans* folk we must work extra hard to make it work. Sad but true. Every time I go out and everything works out fine, so far 100% of the time, I think there's a lot of new people who now have first hand personal experiance of a Transgender individual in 'their' society and everything was cool - normal even?

Normal is how we define it

We are living in a delicate time.

This post is linked directly to a post I will follow on with shortly after regarding the use of restrooms and this I start leading in to the USA given recent events...

America feels threatened and like all treated entities it is in a process of anger and lashing out. Whilst not the superpower they were, when the US feels threatened and reacts, the world feels it’s ripples. A wave of anti-tolerance by I'm happy to say, political minorities, towards people of a ‘different’ way, be that a faith or in my case my gender presentation, is written across the face of the world's media every day.

It is vital now more than ever, that if one is different, we try to integrate and show by example, that diversity is complimentary to the human condition and not destructive. There may be individuals and factions of groups who are negative and want to separate the people of our world but it’s certainly not me and I hope not you - not transgender folk. It's an oppertunity.

So partly because of the above and coincidentally, over the past year or two I’ve been getting out dressed more. However 'getting out' can mean several types of place so here’s my basic list.

A - Trans* friendly places like Pink Punters. Obviously I’ve never felt any animosity or worry here!

B - Then there is another level of getting out to the more accepting ‘gay’ areas of a town like Birmingham in my case. Here again rarely will anyone bat an eyelid. I actually prefer these areas as you’ll always be accepted and it is a more diverse set of individuals. Straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, whatever you want to call people. Everyone is usually just out for a fun / relaxed night.

The Arcadian, just off Hurst St, Birmingham

C - However I’ve also been out out to everyday restaurants or pubs whether in the centre of London or a small pub in Warwickshire. And you know, people are on whole to be very accepting and unflustered. Yayyy, go humanity!!!

The worst I’ve encountered is someone, usually a grandmother out with their family or an older guy out alone (both occurrences have happened more than once) where their faces tell a story. They cannot stop staring and I’ve even seen their family get somewhat embarrassed at this. They are fighting an internal battle between what they’ve been told or told themselves all their lives and the reality they see before them. So effectively it’s their issue and their internal struggle - not mine. On the one hand I’m not sure what they expect of me but my having a polite conversation with a friend and behaving civilized obviously isn’t one of these pre-programmed thoughts.

D - Finally I’d say just going shopping in town dressed. I’ve only done this once and it was similar to the run of the mill restaurant or pub but I don’t class once as a good working knowledge so I’ll not pretend to give advice on this.

Neverthelss - my advice for getting out is...

First - just do it. Make the decision, then think seriously about why and what it means to you. While you can go out alone, I’d seriously recommend you go with a friend. It’s more fun and you can share the experience.

Second - Be sensible. Don’t pick somewhere you know to be synonymous with trouble. I wouldn’t do that regardless of my gender or presentation!

Third - Don’t be a parody - be yourself. However you present on the outside let your natural person on the inside come through.

And finally - Take pride in your appearance and make it obvious you’ve tried your best to present how you want to be. People respect that, so respect them by doing so.

So you are out and about, what bathroom do you use? Queue my next post...

Gender non-conformist?

A short post to say have a listen to this BBC Documentary about the growth of Non-Binary as an acknowledged way to be. I was directed to it via Rebecca Root’s Twitter which often discloses these little gems. As usual I found the BBC’s a very level headed report - so listen!

Interestingly they also use the term ‘gender non-conforming’ which to me sounds a touch more active in attitude whereas ‘Non-Binary’ is very neutral. It sparked a teeny bit of rebellious creativity in me so I created the emblem for this post.

Personally I still prefer the term Trans* assignation (with the asterisk to allow you to say what you are) as it is snappier and is suggestive of change not a so much a static condition. I'd still say I was Gender non-conformist of course.

How about you?

Side note: as I mention in a previous post, I actually love the extreems of gender so I'm not against gender. I just feel people should be free to live happily as either or 'between' them wherever is best for them.

3 hours later

OMG I so can’t believe it’s another TV program this month! You have until around the 11th of November to catch this on Channel 4.

So why 3 hours later? When the documentary is called:

Girls to Men

Because of what this documentary seemed to focus on. Allow me to explain.

This post isn’t specifically about the guys who are the subject of this documentary. No, it’s about the documentary and what it means as a reflection of society. And yes it’s good I’m writing yet another post about the Trans issue on UK TV. Trans is definitely on topic. So yeah, good.

I’m so onboard with people being the people they want to be. For all three of the guys in this documentary it was good to see their journey and so very brave of them to be in this program.

And yet the more I watched the more I felt resonance with the article in the Independent here

It is understandable for young trans people to be excited about these milestones, but media interest in surgery on trans people is harmful as it reduces all trans experiences. It suggests you become your gender through surgery or medical intervention which we disagree with.

Jamie Pallas

Rather than me write it all up poorly, do read this other article from the Guardian.

So, 3 Hours Later was the slide which followed an operation...

For me the interview with Alfie’s mum Cathy was so much more poignant of the whole transgender issue today. That being the belief someone is one thing when they feel to be something else and then managing that process of transition to become there true selves. Cathy's difficulty as a mother is exactly what I'm on about. I'm sure Cathy is so proud her son. Alfie is so brave.

I personally don’t believe the program was specifically “transphobic” as some Twitter feedback may have said, but I do believe it could so easily have been done better and ‘played up' rather than down.

As for the title of the program. It's a tabloid headline and succeeded in grabbing attention. It did a job. For me the issue was what the program did once it had that attention.

Overall I’d agree with what Ethan who said, “The journey is never really over…”

Good to talk

Just a short post and highlight some of the local group gatherings organised in the UK for Transitioning people not just M2F. I’ve mentioned them before in an earlier post but in all the digital transgender talk on the internet you might easily miss the Beaumont Society. They’ve been going since 1966 working transgender community so have some experience on the matter.

They have regional organisers to contact about these local gatherings so if you feel like you need advice or support in how you feel or even with thoughts on coming out or your family etc please follow the link here or the pin in the map below and ask for a little help and advice. It’s why they are there and why they were established.

This post was prompted by a discussion this weekend with someone to whom I totally forgot to mention the above. So hope its of some help.

Trapped in a preconception

One of my very first posts was asking the question “Why” Why do I and possibly some others, like to dress in clothes generally ascribed to persons of an opposite sex? In this post I’ll look at this a little more. I’ll start at crossdressing and go on to gender. This is not an A-Z but a short and incomplete blog….

On Crossdressing

To start, a good short article covering why people crossdress can be found here.

…but for those who don’t want to go read it; the summary of the article is that there are three main reasons as to why men crossdress:

1 - sexual gratification
2 - express the feminine side of their personality
(comfort, and reduced stress / because it feels good.)
3 - experience the "power of a woman."
(it is very stimulating and intoxicating)

I’d agree with point 1 as to why many men dress. And if this is the sole reason a man dresses then it may actually be a confirmation on their masculinity and simple attraction to women in an odd way. Not always of course.

Whilst I do relate to point 1, I feel Point 2 describes me the best with a dash of point 3 thrown in for good measure.

On Gender

Before I carry on this YouTube is a good and relatively short into onto gender if you need to brush up.

Sorry it won't play in my blog I'm just not that techie!

Points 2 and 3 above are in the context of a release mechanism from the gender binary. An outlet valve for a cultural system that doesn’t wholly work. The word crossdressing itself is somewhat antiquated and assumes there are only two types of people in the world. Women, who can wear pretty much anything they want most of the time and then men, who have a severely limited and often dull wardrobe. Hence the term ‘drag and drab’. Of course gender goes far beyond just fashion and how we present ourselves but people tend to judge books by covers so lets stick with this for this blog.

We all want to be accepted for who we feel we are inside and have that seen as such on the outside. Living and presenting on the outside as someone who you don’t genuinely feel to be inside is not a pleseant feeling. For many ‘men’ the odd evening ’crossdressing’ is enough of a release to allow them to continue to conform to the prescribed gender binary uniform of tradition the rest of the time.

I love getting fully ’dressed up’. Even if I could all the time I wouldn't all of the time. Speak to anyone who wears make-up and high heels etc regardless of there gender or sex and it does require more work than pulling on jeans and some trainers. Tight can jeans rock for me as much as a skirt and sitting around the house in a pair of jogging bottoms is fine too for different reasons. Look at it the other way. There is very little I wear every day that a genetic woman wouldn’t wear and feel comfortable in. Does that mean I crossdress every day? As I may have stated before, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body. I do however feel like an identity trapped in a preconception. 

Personally speaking I allow many of the traits of my more feminine side to merge into or simply influence my day to day life. This affects how I dress, look after myself, my choices and, to a degree how I relate to others. Don’t get me wrong, my masculine side is there too. For me my whole gender balance and my freedom of expression is what has become more prominent as the years move on. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of renewal and change. If our minds weren’t we wouldn’t be living creatures.

You are you, however you or someone else labels you. I don’t want to get all Matrix/Morpheus or Zen on you here, but you cannot, not, be you. The confusion comes about because for most of the world all we do is act our role as described by society, and a role is so much more than the clothes you wear.

In 1599 or so Shakespeare wrote in “As You Like It”, stating “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players…”

I'n not entirely sure if Shakespeare actually knew how accurately this describes the human condition as it transcends male and female. Our confusion is because we’re trying to define a role that many in 21st century society simply don’t see - yet. The ‘yet’ is important.

So back to the question. Why do I dress and why do I allow it to affect my life? Because quite simply - it’s who I am and I am human. Now; define human without using the future or potential as a meaningful reference?

The above image I found via another good blog but honestly can't find the original link. I think I got surf crazy that day!

Sparkle 2015

What can I say about Sparkle… Wow.

It’s perhaps the biggest little thing on the planet. Sparkle is the largest free trans event in the world. There are a number of workshops and many surrounding events as well as the focus of the event, the main stage where lots of great entertainment really brought the park to life. I won’t go into the program as you can see that on the Sparkle website. I’ll just give my impression.

I cannot state enough how that small area of Manchester known as the Gay Village, around the main Sparkle site at Sackville Gardens is such an amazing place to be. Sackville Gardens itself was a really lovely location and the weather last weekend was thankfully great too.

In the gardens (a small park) there were loads of stalls. Many selling things like wigs or make-overs but also a stall with the Greater Manchester Police campaigning to abolish hate crime and the Beaumont Society all supporting and promoting the Trans cause.

Sponsors were many but ASDA was a particular stand out if not in visual presence but in terms of importance, at least for me. Mainstream companies getting involved are crucial and the announcement that the National lottery is awarding money to help in the cause is very welcome and a sign that some of the wrongly placed negativity towards Trans’ people is hopefully changing. Similarly whilst I’m not a Corrie fan a big shout out to Kym Marsh who came along and support the event too.

Sparkle seems such a beautiful and yet fragile event. For me personally the big thing other than the main event, was how in the village bars and clubs there was such a mix of people. Trans, Lesbians, Gay, straight - even a few hen parties passed through. Everyone just having a great time. Sparkle was not only about a Transgender celebration but a celebration about empowering each of us to be free to be us without worry regarding usual restrictive gender binary labelling.

Thank you Sparkle ;)

Education 3.3

So following on from my previous post about hate crime and the earlier one entitled Education, Education, Education, I’d like to direct you to Sam Killerman and his work on education people about Gender.

The TEDx Talk is really entertaining and worth a watch. If you’d like to know more this is Sam’s website.

Hate & Fear

Citizens Advice define a hate crime as an act of "violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are."

You know, every time I think of my blog I think I’ll do something about fashion or make-up and then something barges in from the side. It’s really an issue of priority and this is something I really didn’t want to do a blog about but, well… it’s a truth. I noticed a level of this personally when replying to a You Tube post on Caitlyn Jenna recently.

Whilst not all negative there was a contingent of comments which seemed irrational and based in dogma rather than thought.

So this was sitting in my mind when I was listening to Cami's Crossdressing Canopy Podcast and she mentioned how someone shouted swearing at her in public but not because she was dressed or presenting fem’ but simply because she was in an Asian country and she was western? Bigoted hate actions are not just aimed at Trans’ people obviously. Cami’s take on this is you will always find people who disagree or hate you but this shouldn’t taint your self belief.

This is mirrored in the main point of this article which is a BBC news report on how LGBT people experience hate crime 'too often’.

The article refers to Talulah Eve Brown who appears to be a really savvy and lovely individual who can rise above the hate she receives.

My point of view is fairly simple on all this. Blanket statement I know! Usually people who appear to hate irrationally are actually frightened. People can be hated because of their colour, gender, age, or many other reasons other than something they have actually done. Or like Cami, simply being from another place.

Most bias racism or any ‘ism’ can be described the same. Maybe it’s easier to react rather than think and deal with people as individuals? This is not an excuse and I have no sagely advice on how to handle it other than I believe how you face the world determines to some degree how the world reflects back upon yourself. Try not to react against their reaction and like Talulah hold to your belief and course. I admit I’m not always the best at taking my own advice.

Have belief in you. Treat others with politeness and compassion. And if you are a victim of abuse think: why are these people like this? Maybe their world is not so wonderfully coloured as yours? Maybe you should feel sorry for them…

This will not stop some of the more violent acts and it's very much easier said than done, but worth some thought.

Call Me Caitlyn

Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner on Vanity Fair Cover. Another positive cover story...

News links:
Yahoo
BBC Newsbeat
YouTUBE

In a word - Progress

It’s so nice to see a positive article posted on the BBC website, 27 May 2015. A large step for Manobi Bandyopadhyay and another small step for human equality.

Drawn to Dresses

"Over the past six years there's been a four-fold increase in children aged 10 or under being referred to the unit in 2014-15, compared with 2009-10. Of those children, 47 were aged five or younger and two of the children were three years old."

BBC news article about two young Transgender girls and their change and schooling. It can be especially difficult for parents who, of all people, are more prone to mapping their expectations on their children. As usual with the BBC a sober account but a sign of the times non the less.

Link - The story of two transgender children

LGBT Travel

Earlier this month, March 2015 a friend sent me these two photos from the ITB Berlin Travel Show. He’d been several times over the years and did not even know there was a dedicated area for the whole LGBT scene. I thought that’s pretty cool but what struck me the the most was the Argentina Stand below, compared to all the other small tables above.

Wow, go Argentina!

Fashion Labels

Ok so not talking about the brands as labels but us girls n guys as genders.

Saw this in a store the other day and think it's so worth posting despite being mass consumer fashion. 

I just wish it hadn't been embedded into a "Woman’s" only section. Personally I buy clothes from the Woman’s section without worrying but thinking about it why do they even have a Mens and Woman’s section? Can anyone really let me know a good reason? And yes I know men and women are slightly different shapes but all people are, aren’t they?

Surely a store would be better off just saying "hey, look at all the great clothes / products we sell for “EVERYONE" or maybe I'm being silly?

Oh and this picture too in Superdrug on the Strand.

So the whole shop is not for men? lol - I could so see a comedy sketch in this.

On the same subject this article was pointed out to me about similar issues even though the content seems more glitz than grit.

Selfridges is launching 'gender-neutral' shopping

That's it for this one, unless you've got something to add? x

He for She UN Campaign

An earlier blog entry of mine Like a Girl tried to describe that many criticisms or insults to Trans M2F in particular, also constituted a criticism of real females and vice versa.

Whilst not new I recently I heard of this campaign from Cami’s Crossdressing Canopy (Podcast) fronted by Emma Watson (Harry Potter). Essentially a campaign for equal rights for women all over the world. A very good cause. 

However it’s also a campaign for human equality regardless of gender or anywhere in-between as Emma’s launch speech says towards the third quarter of the speech.

Please watch the speech.
Emma Watson’s moving UN Speech (11mins)

As many Trans people like myself live much of their life in male mode please allow your male side to go vote and add your real male email address and name to the list. Just takes two mins (if that).

Go tell people and small step by small step help change the world.

HeforShe campaign website

On the shores of an evolutionary ocean

(There are quite a few TED talk links in this post)

So I confess this blog goes somewhat beyond gender issues per se, but hey if your gonna dream, dream of dragons! As an inspirational start point I offer this short clip of Peter Weyland's 2023 TED Talk, essentially a viral for Prometheus the Movie.

The focus of this post is pretty simple. What does it mean to be trans in the much, much, broader sense? The short answer is almost every human is Trans - they just don’t know it. In the same way as we don’t appreciate that we travel through the universe at 390 kilometers per second - most just don’t see the changes so they don't know or want to believe.

Not one of us can really see the future. Saying this or that will happen in ten or fifteen years is not the point. The point is our journey and our attitude whilst moving along it. It is often mentioned that we predict landscape of the future from the perspective of the landscape the past, which may be true. But that shouldn’t mean we should be limited in our potential view of the future. Or put anther way, why accept yesterdays limitations today - or tomorrow.

As an example this article describes a woman of over 100 years old who despite only living 400 miles from the ocean had never seen it before. I use it as a metaphor to show how the future can be more...

And so on to today and tomorrow. Some time ago I watched this TED talk on the next stage of human evolution, “Homo-evolutus”. Or read the perhaps easier to digest blog - HighExistance.

It describes how humans will soon be in a position to determine their physical and possibly mental evolution on a needs or want’s basis to a point where defining exactly what a human is, may be difficult. In many ways I’d argue that M2F and F2M Trans people have been initiating this process for decades. Leading the way as it were emotionally if not technologically. But the real point on this talk (to me and this post) really implies that if we think changing your gender is radical, in the future people will wonder why we were concerned about such relatively minor change?

Looking further ahead, and nothing directly to do with Trans issues, other than the acceptance that we can and should have the right to be able to be what we want to be - is what comes after Homo-evolutus or what next?

I would argue Homo-evolutus may become or may better be called Homo-potentialus?

So, we are on the verge of the intelligence revolution which will change our society in far greater ways than the industrial revolution ever did. See this TED talk for reference. If you want to skip the first 7 mins that’s when the stats come in ;)

The outcome of this can only be what I’d term Homo-potentialus, meaning worrying about a fixed gender (a fixed anything) is like a caveman arguing with an astronaut, about how far they can throw a rock.

Like many stories or posts on this subject most of us in our daily lives don't have any direct control over the issues mentioned. However, like a passenger in an increasingly speeding car, we can learn how to lean into the corners and be empathetic to the changes.

So it is about attitude and how we use our minds. As humans we now rarely fight for patches of earth or the carcass, at least as individuals. Yet the old attitudes persist with some. Let us evolve. Let us be more. Let us be more than we were told we should be, could be. For you will always be you. Now isn't that trans' at heart?

As a sign off I quote Rocket Racoon from Guardians of the Galaxy...

“Ain't no thing like me 'cept me.”

I couldn't find the right clip on You Tube so if you want to see the actual quote , you'll need to watch the movie :)

like a girl

Is there a basic and general problem with femininity? Not just for a guy but for a girl? It just seems to me that there is a connection between how men relate to women and how society relates to crossdressers or anyone in a transitionary gender?

This is a general point and whilst there are many enlightened people in the world I think they tend to be overcast by the majority on this issue, as it is a fairly deep social one.

So the point is. Does society (regardless of gender) view femininity as a negative? Whilst there are rare accounts of the matriarchal role in human civilisation and society one can’t help but imagine the battle they had to go through to get there, being a very rare exception to the rule.

In the past it was the loudness of your voice and your strength or aggression that often dictated your leadership candidate. Add intelligence and you had an even better chance. By and large it was a male dominated world often for fair reason especially in day to day dealings where most religions down talked the role of women. Many still do…

In this climate a culture of down-talking females and their ability was almost natural. Individuals or families maybe didn’t see it this way but culture and society did. As Kay said on MiB

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” 

Unfortunately society is often a reflection of group mentality.

This commercial Ad’ shows how the terminology that we use in society can propagate dogmatic re-belief even by the victims of it - 

'Always' Like a girl Ad'

If a male want’s to allow themselves more feminine attributes (could be cross dressing or just wearing make up or simply being more sensitive) and someone insults them or talks them down, are they not often simply insulting femininity as a whole? I mean why would a man want to be like a woman in any way?!

Ever since the war effort exemplified by the poster above women have rightly gone on, not without issue to become more full members in society yet retained their rights to be feminine in places they work and clothes they wear. The right to wear make-up or not etc. Whilst men, like ancient guards at a city gate seem to have moved little in their self expression.

Deliberately provocative statement and not one I believe. However I do believe this is how many guys (and possibly girls) on the street understand it. So is the message here it’s ok for a woman to ’step-up’ to be more like a man, but not for a man to ’step-down’ and be more accepting of their feminine side. If so, do you believe it? Where do you place value in human society?