XD-ing

I have an issue with the word ‘Crossdressing’ or rather, it’s misuse. In day-to-day useage it supports the notion that there are no-go areas for certain genders.

Females continue to have an ongoing battle to gain equality in global society. I’m speaking about the world here so this covers every country from the USA to Saudi Arabia. If as a society, we wish to segregate groups as a principal, then the notion of 'crossdressing' helps this non-constructive cause.

Like Eddie Izzard, I believe that if you buy an item of clothing it is yours, you own it. It doesn’t belong to someone else. I’m not a legal expert but I feel on relitively strong ground here. Clothes may be historically more feminine or masculine but other examples of historical note are slavery* and witch-hunts. Crossdressing is simply a brick in the old world / small world mindset.

*I accept that sadly slavery too is not totally purged from the world - yet.

Our individual expression is ‘ours’. It is by definition personal. It may be feminine or masculine or a mix but to limit expression is a true sin, just as is limiting someones ability in a career because of their genitalia. Whilst not intrinsically tied, notionally support one and you help endorse the other.

Today there was a lady in front of me at the chemist. Her hair was unkempt to say the least, she wore old trainers, baggy jeans and a polo top, so her clothing was that of a typical man of her age. However, at no time did I think ‘Oh it’s a crossdresser’ until writing this. Of course she wasn't crossdressing. She was just wearing something she felt comfortable in.

I started this post off by indicating the word Crossdressing's misuse. So what do I understand the term to mean? Well;

Crossdressing is a term for a fetish practice wherein individuals believe that certain clothes belong 'only' to the opposite 'sex' and wear them purely for fun.

*Sex being different to gender.

In that context it is fine and I can see how it could be fun. Been there got the T-shirt, or was it panties? Everything has a place and a time. If you wear any clothing just because it feels right for you then that's not crossdressing, it's just your clothes. If you're wearing clothes which are not predominantly worn by the genetic sex and you are just doing so for a sexual thrill, it could well be crossdressing. Either way is not wrong or right, but it's important we understand our actions and when to use words correctly. As I said in an earlier post “Words can be used as positive tools but they can trap us if we don't use our minds when we communicate.”

If I'm out and someone thinks I'm crossdressing or says it, I won't get 'cross' if they are being genuine. We all see the world from a unique viewpoint. I'll just take it that they have little experiance of a 'non-binary' perspective on the world, just as I don't understand some other aspect of society.

Life's to short to worry about it - but not to short to try and help.

Gender non-conformist?

A short post to say have a listen to this BBC Documentary about the growth of Non-Binary as an acknowledged way to be. I was directed to it via Rebecca Root’s Twitter which often discloses these little gems. As usual I found the BBC’s a very level headed report - so listen!

Interestingly they also use the term ‘gender non-conforming’ which to me sounds a touch more active in attitude whereas ‘Non-Binary’ is very neutral. It sparked a teeny bit of rebellious creativity in me so I created the emblem for this post.

Personally I still prefer the term Trans* assignation (with the asterisk to allow you to say what you are) as it is snappier and is suggestive of change not a so much a static condition. I'd still say I was Gender non-conformist of course.

How about you?

Side note: as I mention in a previous post, I actually love the extreems of gender so I'm not against gender. I just feel people should be free to live happily as either or 'between' them wherever is best for them.

3 hours later

OMG I so can’t believe it’s another TV program this month! You have until around the 11th of November to catch this on Channel 4.

So why 3 hours later? When the documentary is called:

Girls to Men

Because of what this documentary seemed to focus on. Allow me to explain.

This post isn’t specifically about the guys who are the subject of this documentary. No, it’s about the documentary and what it means as a reflection of society. And yes it’s good I’m writing yet another post about the Trans issue on UK TV. Trans is definitely on topic. So yeah, good.

I’m so onboard with people being the people they want to be. For all three of the guys in this documentary it was good to see their journey and so very brave of them to be in this program.

And yet the more I watched the more I felt resonance with the article in the Independent here

It is understandable for young trans people to be excited about these milestones, but media interest in surgery on trans people is harmful as it reduces all trans experiences. It suggests you become your gender through surgery or medical intervention which we disagree with.

Jamie Pallas

Rather than me write it all up poorly, do read this other article from the Guardian.

So, 3 Hours Later was the slide which followed an operation...

For me the interview with Alfie’s mum Cathy was so much more poignant of the whole transgender issue today. That being the belief someone is one thing when they feel to be something else and then managing that process of transition to become there true selves. Cathy's difficulty as a mother is exactly what I'm on about. I'm sure Cathy is so proud her son. Alfie is so brave.

I personally don’t believe the program was specifically “transphobic” as some Twitter feedback may have said, but I do believe it could so easily have been done better and ‘played up' rather than down.

As for the title of the program. It's a tabloid headline and succeeded in grabbing attention. It did a job. For me the issue was what the program did once it had that attention.

Overall I’d agree with what Ethan who said, “The journey is never really over…”

Good to talk

Just a short post and highlight some of the local group gatherings organised in the UK for Transitioning people not just M2F. I’ve mentioned them before in an earlier post but in all the digital transgender talk on the internet you might easily miss the Beaumont Society. They’ve been going since 1966 working transgender community so have some experience on the matter.

They have regional organisers to contact about these local gatherings so if you feel like you need advice or support in how you feel or even with thoughts on coming out or your family etc please follow the link here or the pin in the map below and ask for a little help and advice. It’s why they are there and why they were established.

This post was prompted by a discussion this weekend with someone to whom I totally forgot to mention the above. So hope its of some help.

From Hollywood to Milton Keynes

This blog title doesn't have exactly the same ring as Patsy Gallants 'From New York to L.A.' but following on from my post Sparkle blog I thought I’d jump in before this to let you know about this one before it's over.

Pink Punters in Milton Keynes is well known for it’s ‘Every second Friday of the Month’ Big Night Out (BNO). A night for T-girls to go out chat, dance and feel more accepted.

So anyways this weekend is the annual Big Weekend Out!

Also as part of the BWO this Saturday night (21:30-06:30) is a Hollywood theme night. So for those confident enough to be a Marilyn Monroe, Madonna or hell, even a George Clooney, go along and sparkle in Milton Keynes. And if you don’t want to be someone else, just slip into a posh dress and go as you.

Below is some of the official blurb but hit the links in this blog to find out more.

From noon until early evening Pink Punters Nightclub and its grounds on the A5 at 2 Watling Street, Fenny Stratford, Milton Keynes (MK2 2BS), will again be transformed into a Transgender Community marketplace, also featuring live entertainment. It will become a haven for those wanting to spend a few hours (en femme or not) browsing, shopping, meeting old and making new friends, and having a ‘jolly good time’ in a very supportive environment.

ENTRANCE IS FREE!

Education 3.3

So following on from my previous post about hate crime and the earlier one entitled Education, Education, Education, I’d like to direct you to Sam Killerman and his work on education people about Gender.

The TEDx Talk is really entertaining and worth a watch. If you’d like to know more this is Sam’s website.

Hate & Fear

Citizens Advice define a hate crime as an act of "violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are."

You know, every time I think of my blog I think I’ll do something about fashion or make-up and then something barges in from the side. It’s really an issue of priority and this is something I really didn’t want to do a blog about but, well… it’s a truth. I noticed a level of this personally when replying to a You Tube post on Caitlyn Jenna recently.

Whilst not all negative there was a contingent of comments which seemed irrational and based in dogma rather than thought.

So this was sitting in my mind when I was listening to Cami's Crossdressing Canopy Podcast and she mentioned how someone shouted swearing at her in public but not because she was dressed or presenting fem’ but simply because she was in an Asian country and she was western? Bigoted hate actions are not just aimed at Trans’ people obviously. Cami’s take on this is you will always find people who disagree or hate you but this shouldn’t taint your self belief.

This is mirrored in the main point of this article which is a BBC news report on how LGBT people experience hate crime 'too often’.

The article refers to Talulah Eve Brown who appears to be a really savvy and lovely individual who can rise above the hate she receives.

My point of view is fairly simple on all this. Blanket statement I know! Usually people who appear to hate irrationally are actually frightened. People can be hated because of their colour, gender, age, or many other reasons other than something they have actually done. Or like Cami, simply being from another place.

Most bias racism or any ‘ism’ can be described the same. Maybe it’s easier to react rather than think and deal with people as individuals? This is not an excuse and I have no sagely advice on how to handle it other than I believe how you face the world determines to some degree how the world reflects back upon yourself. Try not to react against their reaction and like Talulah hold to your belief and course. I admit I’m not always the best at taking my own advice.

Have belief in you. Treat others with politeness and compassion. And if you are a victim of abuse think: why are these people like this? Maybe their world is not so wonderfully coloured as yours? Maybe you should feel sorry for them…

This will not stop some of the more violent acts and it's very much easier said than done, but worth some thought.

Fashion Labels

Ok so not talking about the brands as labels but us girls n guys as genders.

Saw this in a store the other day and think it's so worth posting despite being mass consumer fashion. 

I just wish it hadn't been embedded into a "Woman’s" only section. Personally I buy clothes from the Woman’s section without worrying but thinking about it why do they even have a Mens and Woman’s section? Can anyone really let me know a good reason? And yes I know men and women are slightly different shapes but all people are, aren’t they?

Surely a store would be better off just saying "hey, look at all the great clothes / products we sell for “EVERYONE" or maybe I'm being silly?

Oh and this picture too in Superdrug on the Strand.

So the whole shop is not for men? lol - I could so see a comedy sketch in this.

On the same subject this article was pointed out to me about similar issues even though the content seems more glitz than grit.

Selfridges is launching 'gender-neutral' shopping

That's it for this one, unless you've got something to add? x