We are living in a delicate time.
This post is linked directly to a post I will follow on with shortly after regarding the use of restrooms and this I start leading in to the USA given recent events...
America feels threatened and like all treated entities it is in a process of anger and lashing out. Whilst not the superpower they were, when the US feels threatened and reacts, the world feels it’s ripples. A wave of anti-tolerance by I'm happy to say, political minorities, towards people of a ‘different’ way, be that a faith or in my case my gender presentation, is written across the face of the world's media every day.
It is vital now more than ever, that if one is different, we try to integrate and show by example, that diversity is complimentary to the human condition and not destructive. There may be individuals and factions of groups who are negative and want to separate the people of our world but it’s certainly not me and I hope not you - not transgender folk. It's an oppertunity.
So partly because of the above and coincidentally, over the past year or two I’ve been getting out dressed more. However 'getting out' can mean several types of place so here’s my basic list.
A - Trans* friendly places like Pink Punters. Obviously I’ve never felt any animosity or worry here!
B - Then there is another level of getting out to the more accepting ‘gay’ areas of a town like Birmingham in my case. Here again rarely will anyone bat an eyelid. I actually prefer these areas as you’ll always be accepted and it is a more diverse set of individuals. Straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, whatever you want to call people. Everyone is usually just out for a fun / relaxed night.
The Arcadian, just off Hurst St, Birmingham
C - However I’ve also been out out to everyday restaurants or pubs whether in the centre of London or a small pub in Warwickshire. And you know, people are on whole to be very accepting and unflustered. Yayyy, go humanity!!!
The worst I’ve encountered is someone, usually a grandmother out with their family or an older guy out alone (both occurrences have happened more than once) where their faces tell a story. They cannot stop staring and I’ve even seen their family get somewhat embarrassed at this. They are fighting an internal battle between what they’ve been told or told themselves all their lives and the reality they see before them. So effectively it’s their issue and their internal struggle - not mine. On the one hand I’m not sure what they expect of me but my having a polite conversation with a friend and behaving civilized obviously isn’t one of these pre-programmed thoughts.
D - Finally I’d say just going shopping in town dressed. I’ve only done this once and it was similar to the run of the mill restaurant or pub but I don’t class once as a good working knowledge so I’ll not pretend to give advice on this.
Neverthelss - my advice for getting out is...
First - just do it. Make the decision, then think seriously about why and what it means to you. While you can go out alone, I’d seriously recommend you go with a friend. It’s more fun and you can share the experience.
Second - Be sensible. Don’t pick somewhere you know to be synonymous with trouble. I wouldn’t do that regardless of my gender or presentation!
Third - Don’t be a parody - be yourself. However you present on the outside let your natural person on the inside come through.
And finally - Take pride in your appearance and make it obvious you’ve tried your best to present how you want to be. People respect that, so respect them by doing so.
So you are out and about, what bathroom do you use? Queue my next post...
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