XD-ing

I have an issue with the word ‘Crossdressing’ or rather, it’s misuse. In day-to-day useage it supports the notion that there are no-go areas for certain genders.

Females continue to have an ongoing battle to gain equality in global society. I’m speaking about the world here so this covers every country from the USA to Saudi Arabia. If as a society, we wish to segregate groups as a principal, then the notion of 'crossdressing' helps this non-constructive cause.

Like Eddie Izzard, I believe that if you buy an item of clothing it is yours, you own it. It doesn’t belong to someone else. I’m not a legal expert but I feel on relitively strong ground here. Clothes may be historically more feminine or masculine but other examples of historical note are slavery* and witch-hunts. Crossdressing is simply a brick in the old world / small world mindset.

*I accept that sadly slavery too is not totally purged from the world - yet.

Our individual expression is ‘ours’. It is by definition personal. It may be feminine or masculine or a mix but to limit expression is a true sin, just as is limiting someones ability in a career because of their genitalia. Whilst not intrinsically tied, notionally support one and you help endorse the other.

Today there was a lady in front of me at the chemist. Her hair was unkempt to say the least, she wore old trainers, baggy jeans and a polo top, so her clothing was that of a typical man of her age. However, at no time did I think ‘Oh it’s a crossdresser’ until writing this. Of course she wasn't crossdressing. She was just wearing something she felt comfortable in.

I started this post off by indicating the word Crossdressing's misuse. So what do I understand the term to mean? Well;

Crossdressing is a term for a fetish practice wherein individuals believe that certain clothes belong 'only' to the opposite 'sex' and wear them purely for fun.

*Sex being different to gender.

In that context it is fine and I can see how it could be fun. Been there got the T-shirt, or was it panties? Everything has a place and a time. If you wear any clothing just because it feels right for you then that's not crossdressing, it's just your clothes. If you're wearing clothes which are not predominantly worn by the genetic sex and you are just doing so for a sexual thrill, it could well be crossdressing. Either way is not wrong or right, but it's important we understand our actions and when to use words correctly. As I said in an earlier post “Words can be used as positive tools but they can trap us if we don't use our minds when we communicate.”

If I'm out and someone thinks I'm crossdressing or says it, I won't get 'cross' if they are being genuine. We all see the world from a unique viewpoint. I'll just take it that they have little experiance of a 'non-binary' perspective on the world, just as I don't understand some other aspect of society.

Life's to short to worry about it - but not to short to try and help.

Gender non-conformist?

A short post to say have a listen to this BBC Documentary about the growth of Non-Binary as an acknowledged way to be. I was directed to it via Rebecca Root’s Twitter which often discloses these little gems. As usual I found the BBC’s a very level headed report - so listen!

Interestingly they also use the term ‘gender non-conforming’ which to me sounds a touch more active in attitude whereas ‘Non-Binary’ is very neutral. It sparked a teeny bit of rebellious creativity in me so I created the emblem for this post.

Personally I still prefer the term Trans* assignation (with the asterisk to allow you to say what you are) as it is snappier and is suggestive of change not a so much a static condition. I'd still say I was Gender non-conformist of course.

How about you?

Side note: as I mention in a previous post, I actually love the extreems of gender so I'm not against gender. I just feel people should be free to live happily as either or 'between' them wherever is best for them.

Boy Meets Girl - Again

It's a whole new series of "Boy Meets Girl" planned for 2016. Shooting to start in Manchester in February-ish - what happened to Tyneside...? Oh well, I love Manchester too.

“This series demonstrates comedy’s unique ability to bring insight, warmth and understanding to challenging subjects…”

Ok so I just joined Twitter. Yes I know it's about bloody time you might say. So this 'tweet' came my way and given I'd praised the original series thought I'd post it ahead of the series actually being on catch-up this time ;)

Trans Lovers

So in what seems to be a month of UK television reporting for moi...

With a write up in the Guardian this is from Channel 4. The last in the series of 'Sex Diaries' documentaries. Whilst I was put off by the program description, "Meet the heterosexual men declaring their love for transgender women with male genitalia" I can forgive the director Charlie Russell and C4 for wanting to grab attention for this program. I guess they had to appeal to the sensationalist crowd.

Moving on, this is available on C4 until mid' November and in my opinion worth a watch. Overall I'd agree with the Guardian's write up, The focus is largely on the men but the women’s stories are often more interesting. 

Take-outs are on the one extreme, a throw away comment early on “Transgender are like Ferrari” from one 'admirer'. Obviously uses a different emotional garage to me. To on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum being the scene wherein Lorena describes her awful rape and subsequent falling in love with Mark which was so very emotional.

The documentary itself aside, it reminded me why I don't watch too much traditional television... bloody adverts! Arrrgghhh!

Boy Meets Girl

Ok so a really quick post to let you know about “Boy Meets Girl” and prove my finger is not on the pulse of modern media.

This almost new BBC sitcom is set in the North East and I feel is made stronger by being not overly focused on the Transgender issue. And yet transgender is a strong message within.

There is a Guardian summery article here to find out more. I confess I only caught 10 minuets of it last week but enjoyed it. Typical BBC fare being down to earth humour.

Stars Rebecca Root, Harry Hepple amongst others. My only question; why didn’t anyone tell me about it sooner ;)

As of the date of this post you can 'just' catch from episode 1 on BBC iPlayer.

Changes

“One of the great dogmas of biology is that gender is fixed from birth, determined by the inheritance of certain genes on the X and Y sex chromosomes.”

The Independent

Impermanence is a basic principal of Buddhism and for good reason. We talk about death and taxes but the one true constant in life and indeed the universe, is change.

From stars to dust everything changes. Over time, we change as individuals, our relationships change, as do nations, as do cultures and of course, as a species. And yet accepting and managing change is one of the most difficult things we can face, especially changes in gender and how others relate to you.

Our society has changed over the past few decades. When I was young any male who displayed and feminine traits or heaven forbid wore a dress for example would be lucky to get down a street without abuse, psycological or physically. Nowadays things may not be radically different ‘on the street’ but they are so much better, in city centres certainly. This has been driven I believe by the interconnectedness provided by the web and some research which has permitted the media to feedback into peoples understanding in society, our politics and laws.

“I’m just trying to break down these gender stereotypes.”

Barack Obama

So I know I’m largely preaching to the converted here but I’m pretty sure there are many more younger people accepting of their transition even accounting for the increase in population now compared to say 40 years ago.

Because gender roles in general are becoming increasingly fluid, it’s possible that some younger people didn’t feel so confined by expectations, so they don’t feel as strong a need to experience adolescence in their correct gender. Also, maybe they remember their first adolescence better, since they have just recently lived it, and they don’t really want to go through another one so soon.

Tranifesto

Still in 2015 for a young person there are many challenges to coming out and being accepted as not part of a binary gender position, which may in society still cling too. For younger people just growing up through adolescence is difficult enough without even adding in gender confusion about how they may feel compared to what they are told. 

Also there currently seems to be a bracket of T-girls who are approaching or passing 50 years old. It is logical to give the reason to this change as a mid-life crisis. Now I’m sure relative age and timing have a lot to do with it but maybe it is all part of the same change in society and could more be termed a second adolescence. A process that affects all genders and all people to some degree in different ways - not just M2F or Trans' individuals. I know that is certainly how I feel about it.

For more mature persons (yes moi) we have the benefit of being more sure of the world and our abilities. However the challenges are big simply because our personal history and commitments are stronger and appear clearer. Work and income could be lost. If you have a family, as most do, this could then all disappear, effectively destroying everything you may have spent your life working for. And yet like fine rain over time, the feeling of what you are supposed to be, the character your programmed past as written in the minds of others is inevitably soaked completely in the realisation of who you are inside.

But these were the things that we were supposed to say and do, and the clothing and hairstyles that we were supposed to wear, and the attitudes and behaviours that we were supposed to have when we were going through our first adolescence. It’s just that we never got a chance, because it was the wrong adolescence. When we finally have a shot at the right one, I say we should go for it. It passes soon enough.

Tranifesto

For young and not so young, any friends you have will stay friends, if they really are friends; even if the friendship changes, but you should expect the relationship to change if you do.

As for a reason as to why we do this I can’t give a single answer as I’m sure there are several factors. But click here or on the Independent logo below for an interesting article on gender and change at a cellular level which may be a part of it. The following three quotes are from that article.

“…findings suggest that being male or female is not a permanently fixed state but something that has to be continually maintained in the adult body by the constant interaction of genes to keep the status quo – and the gender war – from slipping in favour of the opposite sex.”

“The results could explain some of the great mysteries of human gender, for instance why some women after the menopause develop male characteristics, such as facial hair and deeper voices, or why other people are so unhappy with the gender they were born with that they seek hormone therapy and radical sex-change operations.”

“…If it is possible to make these changes in adult humans, it may eventually remove the need for surgery in gender-reassignment treatment…”

A more technical link regarding the story can be found here:

From a species over time down to our individual cells on a daily basis, our gender and understanding of it changes constantly.

So why do so many seem so surprised by this?

My point on change in general and specifically gender?

Flexibility (change) is a strength not a weakness.

Diversity (because of changes) is a strength.

So try not to overly judge,

where it is so obviously unnecessary.

From Hollywood to Milton Keynes

This blog title doesn't have exactly the same ring as Patsy Gallants 'From New York to L.A.' but following on from my post Sparkle blog I thought I’d jump in before this to let you know about this one before it's over.

Pink Punters in Milton Keynes is well known for it’s ‘Every second Friday of the Month’ Big Night Out (BNO). A night for T-girls to go out chat, dance and feel more accepted.

So anyways this weekend is the annual Big Weekend Out!

Also as part of the BWO this Saturday night (21:30-06:30) is a Hollywood theme night. So for those confident enough to be a Marilyn Monroe, Madonna or hell, even a George Clooney, go along and sparkle in Milton Keynes. And if you don’t want to be someone else, just slip into a posh dress and go as you.

Below is some of the official blurb but hit the links in this blog to find out more.

From noon until early evening Pink Punters Nightclub and its grounds on the A5 at 2 Watling Street, Fenny Stratford, Milton Keynes (MK2 2BS), will again be transformed into a Transgender Community marketplace, also featuring live entertainment. It will become a haven for those wanting to spend a few hours (en femme or not) browsing, shopping, meeting old and making new friends, and having a ‘jolly good time’ in a very supportive environment.

ENTRANCE IS FREE!

Trapped in a preconception

One of my very first posts was asking the question “Why” Why do I and possibly some others, like to dress in clothes generally ascribed to persons of an opposite sex? In this post I’ll look at this a little more. I’ll start at crossdressing and go on to gender. This is not an A-Z but a short and incomplete blog….

On Crossdressing

To start, a good short article covering why people crossdress can be found here.

…but for those who don’t want to go read it; the summary of the article is that there are three main reasons as to why men crossdress:

1 - sexual gratification
2 - express the feminine side of their personality
(comfort, and reduced stress / because it feels good.)
3 - experience the "power of a woman."
(it is very stimulating and intoxicating)

I’d agree with point 1 as to why many men dress. And if this is the sole reason a man dresses then it may actually be a confirmation on their masculinity and simple attraction to women in an odd way. Not always of course.

Whilst I do relate to point 1, I feel Point 2 describes me the best with a dash of point 3 thrown in for good measure.

On Gender

Before I carry on this YouTube is a good and relatively short into onto gender if you need to brush up.

Sorry it won't play in my blog I'm just not that techie!

Points 2 and 3 above are in the context of a release mechanism from the gender binary. An outlet valve for a cultural system that doesn’t wholly work. The word crossdressing itself is somewhat antiquated and assumes there are only two types of people in the world. Women, who can wear pretty much anything they want most of the time and then men, who have a severely limited and often dull wardrobe. Hence the term ‘drag and drab’. Of course gender goes far beyond just fashion and how we present ourselves but people tend to judge books by covers so lets stick with this for this blog.

We all want to be accepted for who we feel we are inside and have that seen as such on the outside. Living and presenting on the outside as someone who you don’t genuinely feel to be inside is not a pleseant feeling. For many ‘men’ the odd evening ’crossdressing’ is enough of a release to allow them to continue to conform to the prescribed gender binary uniform of tradition the rest of the time.

I love getting fully ’dressed up’. Even if I could all the time I wouldn't all of the time. Speak to anyone who wears make-up and high heels etc regardless of there gender or sex and it does require more work than pulling on jeans and some trainers. Tight can jeans rock for me as much as a skirt and sitting around the house in a pair of jogging bottoms is fine too for different reasons. Look at it the other way. There is very little I wear every day that a genetic woman wouldn’t wear and feel comfortable in. Does that mean I crossdress every day? As I may have stated before, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body. I do however feel like an identity trapped in a preconception. 

Personally speaking I allow many of the traits of my more feminine side to merge into or simply influence my day to day life. This affects how I dress, look after myself, my choices and, to a degree how I relate to others. Don’t get me wrong, my masculine side is there too. For me my whole gender balance and my freedom of expression is what has become more prominent as the years move on. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of renewal and change. If our minds weren’t we wouldn’t be living creatures.

You are you, however you or someone else labels you. I don’t want to get all Matrix/Morpheus or Zen on you here, but you cannot, not, be you. The confusion comes about because for most of the world all we do is act our role as described by society, and a role is so much more than the clothes you wear.

In 1599 or so Shakespeare wrote in “As You Like It”, stating “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players…”

I'n not entirely sure if Shakespeare actually knew how accurately this describes the human condition as it transcends male and female. Our confusion is because we’re trying to define a role that many in 21st century society simply don’t see - yet. The ‘yet’ is important.

So back to the question. Why do I dress and why do I allow it to affect my life? Because quite simply - it’s who I am and I am human. Now; define human without using the future or potential as a meaningful reference?

The above image I found via another good blog but honestly can't find the original link. I think I got surf crazy that day!

Sparkle 2015

What can I say about Sparkle… Wow.

It’s perhaps the biggest little thing on the planet. Sparkle is the largest free trans event in the world. There are a number of workshops and many surrounding events as well as the focus of the event, the main stage where lots of great entertainment really brought the park to life. I won’t go into the program as you can see that on the Sparkle website. I’ll just give my impression.

I cannot state enough how that small area of Manchester known as the Gay Village, around the main Sparkle site at Sackville Gardens is such an amazing place to be. Sackville Gardens itself was a really lovely location and the weather last weekend was thankfully great too.

In the gardens (a small park) there were loads of stalls. Many selling things like wigs or make-overs but also a stall with the Greater Manchester Police campaigning to abolish hate crime and the Beaumont Society all supporting and promoting the Trans cause.

Sponsors were many but ASDA was a particular stand out if not in visual presence but in terms of importance, at least for me. Mainstream companies getting involved are crucial and the announcement that the National lottery is awarding money to help in the cause is very welcome and a sign that some of the wrongly placed negativity towards Trans’ people is hopefully changing. Similarly whilst I’m not a Corrie fan a big shout out to Kym Marsh who came along and support the event too.

Sparkle seems such a beautiful and yet fragile event. For me personally the big thing other than the main event, was how in the village bars and clubs there was such a mix of people. Trans, Lesbians, Gay, straight - even a few hen parties passed through. Everyone just having a great time. Sparkle was not only about a Transgender celebration but a celebration about empowering each of us to be free to be us without worry regarding usual restrictive gender binary labelling.

Thank you Sparkle ;)

Education 3.3

So following on from my previous post about hate crime and the earlier one entitled Education, Education, Education, I’d like to direct you to Sam Killerman and his work on education people about Gender.

The TEDx Talk is really entertaining and worth a watch. If you’d like to know more this is Sam’s website.

Hate & Fear

Citizens Advice define a hate crime as an act of "violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are."

You know, every time I think of my blog I think I’ll do something about fashion or make-up and then something barges in from the side. It’s really an issue of priority and this is something I really didn’t want to do a blog about but, well… it’s a truth. I noticed a level of this personally when replying to a You Tube post on Caitlyn Jenna recently.

Whilst not all negative there was a contingent of comments which seemed irrational and based in dogma rather than thought.

So this was sitting in my mind when I was listening to Cami's Crossdressing Canopy Podcast and she mentioned how someone shouted swearing at her in public but not because she was dressed or presenting fem’ but simply because she was in an Asian country and she was western? Bigoted hate actions are not just aimed at Trans’ people obviously. Cami’s take on this is you will always find people who disagree or hate you but this shouldn’t taint your self belief.

This is mirrored in the main point of this article which is a BBC news report on how LGBT people experience hate crime 'too often’.

The article refers to Talulah Eve Brown who appears to be a really savvy and lovely individual who can rise above the hate she receives.

My point of view is fairly simple on all this. Blanket statement I know! Usually people who appear to hate irrationally are actually frightened. People can be hated because of their colour, gender, age, or many other reasons other than something they have actually done. Or like Cami, simply being from another place.

Most bias racism or any ‘ism’ can be described the same. Maybe it’s easier to react rather than think and deal with people as individuals? This is not an excuse and I have no sagely advice on how to handle it other than I believe how you face the world determines to some degree how the world reflects back upon yourself. Try not to react against their reaction and like Talulah hold to your belief and course. I admit I’m not always the best at taking my own advice.

Have belief in you. Treat others with politeness and compassion. And if you are a victim of abuse think: why are these people like this? Maybe their world is not so wonderfully coloured as yours? Maybe you should feel sorry for them…

This will not stop some of the more violent acts and it's very much easier said than done, but worth some thought.

Education, education, education

Education, education, education as Tony Blair* once pointed out is of paramount importance. Well if it’s relevant to the growth of a country it’s also relevant to the growth of a person and a society.

I’ve read quite a lot of scary comments regarding people who don’t conform to a gender binary model and must admit that the majority of the negative attitude comes from a simple lack of understanding. Ok so this article won’t change it all but at least the good old BBC are trying to live up to the public service model. Spurred on by the recent Caitlyn Jenner media coverage the BBC Magazine has ran this short article.

Yes there are far better guides out there but the people who really need the education are hardly going to go searching or going to bother reading a never ending web-scroll of Transgender terms and detail.

So thanks for the BBC acknowledging the issue.

* Not an endorsement. Most politicians are as good or bad as each other. Remember people, whoever you vote for, the Government always get in...

Call Me Caitlyn

Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner on Vanity Fair Cover. Another positive cover story...

News links:
Yahoo
BBC Newsbeat
YouTUBE

In a word - Progress

It’s so nice to see a positive article posted on the BBC website, 27 May 2015. A large step for Manobi Bandyopadhyay and another small step for human equality.

Achievement!

It's a year on so, Conchita… does she pass, and importantly should she pass?

You see, most but not all of the issues to do with F2M or M2F evolve around one issue. What we define as male and what we define as female. Without these binaries there would be no X2X. I have said before, I love and respect the fact there is a male and female binary BUT believe strongly that there should be room between these for more expression.

For those of us lucky enough to live in a society where women have ‘mostly’ equal rights to men, our definitions of male and female in reality largely come down to what we see. Passing is about how we act and our fashion. Our manner and appearance.

Check off both those boxes and Achievement Unlocked - Passing!

Leave one out and you fail.

For many, if not most M2F and F2M they really want to pass. However some people feel they shouldn’t need to conform to this gender binary. Personally I feel both ways depending on my day. I dress totally female when I can with the intent of being able to pass but on a day to day basis I just want the ‘right’ to be me and wear what the hell I want. Is that to much to ask? 

Do we have, or should we have, a society where an individual has the right to express themselves as they feel they are, not as others would like them to be, within the realms of the law and decency and the situation of course! How free and creative are we as a society? I feel this is less an issue for women than men. This is well put in this quote from Eleanor Roberts of the Beaumont Society.

“Most of the Male-to-Female (MtF) transgender community are part-time crossdressers who need opportunities to dress/make-up as a woman one or two evenings a week. This is often enough to release the pent-up pressure and keep a marriage & family together. Women in the same situation do not need this; women's fashion is wide enough to allow them masculine styles of dress/hair if they wish without attracting condemnation.”

Eleanor Roberts (Beaumont Society)

I felt that it was an interesting choice of words “without attracting condemnation.” Condemnation could sound strong but even a disapproving frown from someone is a form of condemnation. I would agree with the sentiment as simply put, it is more socially acceptable to pass as the opposite gender than be ambiguous because it’s easier on peoples brains. Humans love to be able to classify things which is mostly good and has allowed us to evolve. However like any skill, it’s misuse limits our development. 

I personally feel people should be allowed to wear what they feel expresses themselves and they feel good in. You have to admit it would be a far more interesting world? As Eddie Izzard said,

“They aren’t women's clothes they are mine, I paid for them.”

Please, please for the love of Pete, can someone give me a reasonable argument why a man shouldn’t wear a dress in public? Other than 'because it's the way it is or has been'. Maybe I’ve just missed a lesson somewhere?

So to sum up, “being accepted” and “passing” are two different things. And passing makes being accepted almost a default state. Being accepted when not conforming to a gender stereotype is very difficult.

We are very social creatures and being accepted for being yourself is important. Maybe it’s time we opened up our vocabulary to allow people (some of us at least) to express themselves and be themselves more easily.

Surely the strength and beauty in humanity rests in it's diversity.

So what do I think about Conchita… does she pass, and importantly should she pass?

No she doesn’t pass as society describes a female, but more importantly she passes for being herself and we should all admire that even more!

And you, are you - you?

Links to pages on passing:

Thetransgenderpartner

passing tips

Drawn to Dresses

"Over the past six years there's been a four-fold increase in children aged 10 or under being referred to the unit in 2014-15, compared with 2009-10. Of those children, 47 were aged five or younger and two of the children were three years old."

BBC news article about two young Transgender girls and their change and schooling. It can be especially difficult for parents who, of all people, are more prone to mapping their expectations on their children. As usual with the BBC a sober account but a sign of the times non the less.

Link - The story of two transgender children

Fashion Labels

Ok so not talking about the brands as labels but us girls n guys as genders.

Saw this in a store the other day and think it's so worth posting despite being mass consumer fashion. 

I just wish it hadn't been embedded into a "Woman’s" only section. Personally I buy clothes from the Woman’s section without worrying but thinking about it why do they even have a Mens and Woman’s section? Can anyone really let me know a good reason? And yes I know men and women are slightly different shapes but all people are, aren’t they?

Surely a store would be better off just saying "hey, look at all the great clothes / products we sell for “EVERYONE" or maybe I'm being silly?

Oh and this picture too in Superdrug on the Strand.

So the whole shop is not for men? lol - I could so see a comedy sketch in this.

On the same subject this article was pointed out to me about similar issues even though the content seems more glitz than grit.

Selfridges is launching 'gender-neutral' shopping

That's it for this one, unless you've got something to add? x

like a girl

Is there a basic and general problem with femininity? Not just for a guy but for a girl? It just seems to me that there is a connection between how men relate to women and how society relates to crossdressers or anyone in a transitionary gender?

This is a general point and whilst there are many enlightened people in the world I think they tend to be overcast by the majority on this issue, as it is a fairly deep social one.

So the point is. Does society (regardless of gender) view femininity as a negative? Whilst there are rare accounts of the matriarchal role in human civilisation and society one can’t help but imagine the battle they had to go through to get there, being a very rare exception to the rule.

In the past it was the loudness of your voice and your strength or aggression that often dictated your leadership candidate. Add intelligence and you had an even better chance. By and large it was a male dominated world often for fair reason especially in day to day dealings where most religions down talked the role of women. Many still do…

In this climate a culture of down-talking females and their ability was almost natural. Individuals or families maybe didn’t see it this way but culture and society did. As Kay said on MiB

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” 

Unfortunately society is often a reflection of group mentality.

This commercial Ad’ shows how the terminology that we use in society can propagate dogmatic re-belief even by the victims of it - 

'Always' Like a girl Ad'

If a male want’s to allow themselves more feminine attributes (could be cross dressing or just wearing make up or simply being more sensitive) and someone insults them or talks them down, are they not often simply insulting femininity as a whole? I mean why would a man want to be like a woman in any way?!

Ever since the war effort exemplified by the poster above women have rightly gone on, not without issue to become more full members in society yet retained their rights to be feminine in places they work and clothes they wear. The right to wear make-up or not etc. Whilst men, like ancient guards at a city gate seem to have moved little in their self expression.

Deliberately provocative statement and not one I believe. However I do believe this is how many guys (and possibly girls) on the street understand it. So is the message here it’s ok for a woman to ’step-up’ to be more like a man, but not for a man to ’step-down’ and be more accepting of their feminine side. If so, do you believe it? Where do you place value in human society?

Equal rights? Not according to the DMV in the USA.

DMV forces gender non-conforming South Carolina teen to remove makeup for license photo

Hardly a new article but I don’t think the DMV should tell people they can’t wear make up. Oh, wait a moment, they don’t say that to girls, only boys. And there was I under the mistaken belief men and women should have equal rights and be treat as people?

I think this boy, which is how he identifies, looked fine. The make up was tasteful and not in any way overdone or a ‘disguise’. Still some work to be done on equality I think!

Here is the original article link,

DMV forces gender non-conforming South Carolina teen to remove makeup for license photo

Girly-Boy

So I was prompted to add this to the blog as it just makes sense to me and it will probably directly apply to most readers or passers by. In addition to the TED talk posted here:

Johanna Blakley: Social media and the end of gender - TED talk

I was inspired by ‘steppingoutsecrets.com’

Stepping Out Secrets - Male to Female Transformation Program 

Quote from Stepping Out Secrets,

Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look girly enough NOT to stand out in a negative way - even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a genetic woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.

And so to my blog bit.

Jodie is the name I chose to explore my gender but it's not the first I've used in the journey and may well not be the name I'd chose were I to 'technically' transition fully - whatever that means. Currently I don’t really intend being a full-on-girl. Arn't I really just exploring me?

Either way, being man or woman in the modern and future world should be about being a person first and a gender second. This is slowly happening for both women and men. The difference is women are generally more open and encouraging whereas men typically resist internal change. This again is probably largely due to survival traits dating back over the centuries if not millennia.

So on the question as to which side of the fence do I sit - or do I sit on the fence?

Answer - Well I really don’t see the fence.

I understand that there are those who are transitioning with a clear goal but I don’t feel that’s where I’m at. If you are, I wish you gods speed and the best of futures.

For myself and the others in a form of happy gender limbo, hopefully we can all relax a little more at Christmas and enjoy being rather than trying to be too much more. Until 2015!