After a while...

― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

This article is ostensibly about transitioning post-forties or later. That said, much will ring true to many who are younger or indeed not transitioning at all as largely it is about how we all change over time and at it’s core, it is about stereotypes and social programming.

It is essentially about tribes and law.

So whilst this is about those of us who transition or simply question our gender expression it is also importantly about the people surrounding us. In youth these people about us are our immediate friends and family. People we are born to or join us in life's path for a while. These are special in that they do not need you to sign a lawful contract to have a relationship with them. However with a spouse there is a mutual lawful agreement. If this pact is based on misconception or wrong information then it only deepens the severity of any scar when one finally realises who they may have hidden away over time, within themselves.

Our cultural and societal conventions and traditions can be worthy but they can also be deeply negative if they don’t allow total honesty. If people are not allowed the right to openly express how they feel at a young age then relationship problems will inevitably occur later in life.

If in your fifties, be you male or female, you discover a repressed love of baking cakes you may annoy some people with random purchases or smells in the kitchen but you don’t ask them to realign their understanding of society. If however, you realise you don’t fit the binary gender model it can present a big issue to those with whom you may have, by now, a lifelong deeply personal and legal contract.

For those of us who have already gone far down a life path, shifting our gender expression, coming out or transitioning - even the thought of it - presents it’s own unique challenges. The obvious question most ask is, why now? If you felt this way why didn’t you say earlier. Why did you hide what you felt?

This is a question I asked myself and the point of this post.

Casting my mind back I was very unsure about what I felt. So far as I knew the world in which I grew up in and live now says, it is bad or at best, abnormal to not conform to a gender stereotype. Now everyone ‘hates’ stereotypes, but not when it comes to gender. Odd that, don't you think?

I hid what I felt because I was not free. I was not free to express it or explore it. For many of us living in the west we like to believe that we live in a free world, but that is not true. Much of our reality is based in social acceptance...

So I pause here for a moment and look at social acceptance from a very non-gender perspective taking the form of two different TED talks.

In one of the most emotive and stirring TED talks I’ve ever seen on what shapes many as they grow, Shane Koyczan at time point 2.28, says that as he was growing up he was being told to…

“Accept the identity others would give me”

Another supporting argument comes form Hetain Patel in this TED Radio hour talk which describes when as he was growing up and from a minority background, he just wanted to fit in. Echoing Shane Koyczan about how all kids want to 'fit in'. As usual the whole episode is good but specifically listen at at point 26:40. Further, at point 27:47 he goes on to say about how he felt ‘ashamed’ because he was different.

Now Hetain Patel mentioned he felt ashamed which leads me to the Transgender Philosophy Podcast, in which Felix Conrad argues the reason for not coming out is shame and it is the removal of that internal shame that allows us to come out. Essentially, as you get older you gain the life experience to question the things society tells you are really you. There is a constant thought of I must be wrong if everyone else says so. Maybe if I wait another year it will all just go away as I can’t be right. Yet after so many years you realise you were right all along. Therefore a late onset of acceptance of oneself occurs as natural part of a maturing process.

So there is a basic instinct in all children and in all people indeed, to ‘fit in’. A natural survival instinct to be part of a tribe. However, as humans our tribes are shaped by its laws.

In the fifties and especially the sixties revolutionary times no doubt, but gender was what it had always been. In fact in the 60’s and into the seventies in the US and UK, if a male was found dressing as a female then by law the result could be…

“…incarceration in mental institutions and the application of aversion therapy through the use of electric shocks or nausea-inducing drugs.”

ISJ

Into the seventies gender bending moved on and through into the eighties and make-up wearing new romantics then breathed life into the concept of a non-fixed gender role. However, by and large these were transient social statements by young people discovering themselves. Themselves who usually ended up from a gender perspective being exactly what there forebears had been. Not a bad thing, it just dilutes the understanding of non-binary gender.

Beyond the laws, and in turn what shapes them, is the information we have to hand and our own understanding of it.

"I was growing up in a very different time and I had no information. Meanwhile, I had all of my diversions — sports...this...that...married...family — but after 65 years, here I was right back with the same problems that I had when I was 10 years old and I had to finally do something about that."

Caitlyn Jenner / etonline

Then there is the physiological argument. At a recent Trans' support group meeting I was talking with a woman from the Beaumont Society who said some people also believe that late transitioning may be to do with a drop in testosterone. I certainly think this could well be a contributory factor but in and of itself, not the actual reason, the spark as it were. This could back up a view again by Caitlyn Jenner in the same article where she says:

"I firmly believe that there are intensity levels of being trans," she wrote. "For example, a boy at a young age — four or five-years-old — might refuse to wear guy clothes and will only wear dresses. Not as a one-time thing, or as just dress-up play, but insistently, every day saying, 'I'm a girl.' They can't — and won't — hide their true identity, even at that young age. Then there are others, like me, who can (kind of) live with it for a long time, even though it's very uncomfortable."

Caitlyn Jenner / etonline

So then, what's my answer? Why do some people come out in later life? I’d argue it is simply due to a lack of true freedom in our society. A society shaped by the law which by our own acceptance creates it.

We do not acknowledge this feeling inside because at first as children we want to fit in and therefore set our path. Then in later life we do not want to hurt those close to us. However as time moves on we realise our lives will mean nothing if we propagate a system which does not allow true freedom for ourselves and of course, others.

We are all our own victims in this respect, transgender - or not.

I’ll leave you with another quote and link:

Look at me 

You may think you see 

Who I really am 

But you'll never know me 

Every day 

It's as if I play a part 

Now I see 

If I wear a mask 

I can fool the world

But I cannot fool my heart 

Christina Aguilera "Reflection"

A mountain is made of grains of sand

The above advertisement is a good example of what happens when we stop questioning how we unconsciously condition society. We talk of advancement but in reality socially changes little. Of how small phrases and dogmatic repetition, especially to the young, make the world we live in. A point I will come back to strongly in the next post I publish...

So directly with reference to the whole title of my blog “Thought's on programming gender roles in modern society” I point you at another good article by Kasey Edwards on Sexist Parenting. It describes how we are subtly programmed from an early age. Programmed by small instructional social code which embeds itself creating the deeper program path we almost blindly follow in later life.

“It feeds into a broader system that disadvantages and devalues women and squeezes men into a suffocating mould of masculinity.”

What to do when you witness sexist parenting - Kasey Edwards

In a more graphical post than usual and because of my net bound search for gender stereotyping imagery, here is another wonderful ridiculous piece of advertising to chew on...

But finally, I'll leave you with what I believe should be the main point of both Kesey's article and my blog, in the hope of a better future future for all...

Think before you speak to everyone, but especially to children for they are the grains of sand upon which the mountain that is our world, is made.

Why do we need gender on our passport?

Why is it even an issue? Read the BBC article here...

Changes

“One of the great dogmas of biology is that gender is fixed from birth, determined by the inheritance of certain genes on the X and Y sex chromosomes.”

The Independent

Impermanence is a basic principal of Buddhism and for good reason. We talk about death and taxes but the one true constant in life and indeed the universe, is change.

From stars to dust everything changes. Over time, we change as individuals, our relationships change, as do nations, as do cultures and of course, as a species. And yet accepting and managing change is one of the most difficult things we can face, especially changes in gender and how others relate to you.

Our society has changed over the past few decades. When I was young any male who displayed and feminine traits or heaven forbid wore a dress for example would be lucky to get down a street without abuse, psycological or physically. Nowadays things may not be radically different ‘on the street’ but they are so much better, in city centres certainly. This has been driven I believe by the interconnectedness provided by the web and some research which has permitted the media to feedback into peoples understanding in society, our politics and laws.

“I’m just trying to break down these gender stereotypes.”

Barack Obama

So I know I’m largely preaching to the converted here but I’m pretty sure there are many more younger people accepting of their transition even accounting for the increase in population now compared to say 40 years ago.

Because gender roles in general are becoming increasingly fluid, it’s possible that some younger people didn’t feel so confined by expectations, so they don’t feel as strong a need to experience adolescence in their correct gender. Also, maybe they remember their first adolescence better, since they have just recently lived it, and they don’t really want to go through another one so soon.

Tranifesto

Still in 2015 for a young person there are many challenges to coming out and being accepted as not part of a binary gender position, which may in society still cling too. For younger people just growing up through adolescence is difficult enough without even adding in gender confusion about how they may feel compared to what they are told. 

Also there currently seems to be a bracket of T-girls who are approaching or passing 50 years old. It is logical to give the reason to this change as a mid-life crisis. Now I’m sure relative age and timing have a lot to do with it but maybe it is all part of the same change in society and could more be termed a second adolescence. A process that affects all genders and all people to some degree in different ways - not just M2F or Trans' individuals. I know that is certainly how I feel about it.

For more mature persons (yes moi) we have the benefit of being more sure of the world and our abilities. However the challenges are big simply because our personal history and commitments are stronger and appear clearer. Work and income could be lost. If you have a family, as most do, this could then all disappear, effectively destroying everything you may have spent your life working for. And yet like fine rain over time, the feeling of what you are supposed to be, the character your programmed past as written in the minds of others is inevitably soaked completely in the realisation of who you are inside.

But these were the things that we were supposed to say and do, and the clothing and hairstyles that we were supposed to wear, and the attitudes and behaviours that we were supposed to have when we were going through our first adolescence. It’s just that we never got a chance, because it was the wrong adolescence. When we finally have a shot at the right one, I say we should go for it. It passes soon enough.

Tranifesto

For young and not so young, any friends you have will stay friends, if they really are friends; even if the friendship changes, but you should expect the relationship to change if you do.

As for a reason as to why we do this I can’t give a single answer as I’m sure there are several factors. But click here or on the Independent logo below for an interesting article on gender and change at a cellular level which may be a part of it. The following three quotes are from that article.

“…findings suggest that being male or female is not a permanently fixed state but something that has to be continually maintained in the adult body by the constant interaction of genes to keep the status quo – and the gender war – from slipping in favour of the opposite sex.”

“The results could explain some of the great mysteries of human gender, for instance why some women after the menopause develop male characteristics, such as facial hair and deeper voices, or why other people are so unhappy with the gender they were born with that they seek hormone therapy and radical sex-change operations.”

“…If it is possible to make these changes in adult humans, it may eventually remove the need for surgery in gender-reassignment treatment…”

A more technical link regarding the story can be found here:

From a species over time down to our individual cells on a daily basis, our gender and understanding of it changes constantly.

So why do so many seem so surprised by this?

My point on change in general and specifically gender?

Flexibility (change) is a strength not a weakness.

Diversity (because of changes) is a strength.

So try not to overly judge,

where it is so obviously unnecessary.

Trapped in a preconception

One of my very first posts was asking the question “Why” Why do I and possibly some others, like to dress in clothes generally ascribed to persons of an opposite sex? In this post I’ll look at this a little more. I’ll start at crossdressing and go on to gender. This is not an A-Z but a short and incomplete blog….

On Crossdressing

To start, a good short article covering why people crossdress can be found here.

…but for those who don’t want to go read it; the summary of the article is that there are three main reasons as to why men crossdress:

1 - sexual gratification
2 - express the feminine side of their personality
(comfort, and reduced stress / because it feels good.)
3 - experience the "power of a woman."
(it is very stimulating and intoxicating)

I’d agree with point 1 as to why many men dress. And if this is the sole reason a man dresses then it may actually be a confirmation on their masculinity and simple attraction to women in an odd way. Not always of course.

Whilst I do relate to point 1, I feel Point 2 describes me the best with a dash of point 3 thrown in for good measure.

On Gender

Before I carry on this YouTube is a good and relatively short into onto gender if you need to brush up.

Sorry it won't play in my blog I'm just not that techie!

Points 2 and 3 above are in the context of a release mechanism from the gender binary. An outlet valve for a cultural system that doesn’t wholly work. The word crossdressing itself is somewhat antiquated and assumes there are only two types of people in the world. Women, who can wear pretty much anything they want most of the time and then men, who have a severely limited and often dull wardrobe. Hence the term ‘drag and drab’. Of course gender goes far beyond just fashion and how we present ourselves but people tend to judge books by covers so lets stick with this for this blog.

We all want to be accepted for who we feel we are inside and have that seen as such on the outside. Living and presenting on the outside as someone who you don’t genuinely feel to be inside is not a pleseant feeling. For many ‘men’ the odd evening ’crossdressing’ is enough of a release to allow them to continue to conform to the prescribed gender binary uniform of tradition the rest of the time.

I love getting fully ’dressed up’. Even if I could all the time I wouldn't all of the time. Speak to anyone who wears make-up and high heels etc regardless of there gender or sex and it does require more work than pulling on jeans and some trainers. Tight can jeans rock for me as much as a skirt and sitting around the house in a pair of jogging bottoms is fine too for different reasons. Look at it the other way. There is very little I wear every day that a genetic woman wouldn’t wear and feel comfortable in. Does that mean I crossdress every day? As I may have stated before, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body. I do however feel like an identity trapped in a preconception. 

Personally speaking I allow many of the traits of my more feminine side to merge into or simply influence my day to day life. This affects how I dress, look after myself, my choices and, to a degree how I relate to others. Don’t get me wrong, my masculine side is there too. For me my whole gender balance and my freedom of expression is what has become more prominent as the years move on. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of renewal and change. If our minds weren’t we wouldn’t be living creatures.

You are you, however you or someone else labels you. I don’t want to get all Matrix/Morpheus or Zen on you here, but you cannot, not, be you. The confusion comes about because for most of the world all we do is act our role as described by society, and a role is so much more than the clothes you wear.

In 1599 or so Shakespeare wrote in “As You Like It”, stating “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players…”

I'n not entirely sure if Shakespeare actually knew how accurately this describes the human condition as it transcends male and female. Our confusion is because we’re trying to define a role that many in 21st century society simply don’t see - yet. The ‘yet’ is important.

So back to the question. Why do I dress and why do I allow it to affect my life? Because quite simply - it’s who I am and I am human. Now; define human without using the future or potential as a meaningful reference?

The above image I found via another good blog but honestly can't find the original link. I think I got surf crazy that day!

Sparkle 2015

What can I say about Sparkle… Wow.

It’s perhaps the biggest little thing on the planet. Sparkle is the largest free trans event in the world. There are a number of workshops and many surrounding events as well as the focus of the event, the main stage where lots of great entertainment really brought the park to life. I won’t go into the program as you can see that on the Sparkle website. I’ll just give my impression.

I cannot state enough how that small area of Manchester known as the Gay Village, around the main Sparkle site at Sackville Gardens is such an amazing place to be. Sackville Gardens itself was a really lovely location and the weather last weekend was thankfully great too.

In the gardens (a small park) there were loads of stalls. Many selling things like wigs or make-overs but also a stall with the Greater Manchester Police campaigning to abolish hate crime and the Beaumont Society all supporting and promoting the Trans cause.

Sponsors were many but ASDA was a particular stand out if not in visual presence but in terms of importance, at least for me. Mainstream companies getting involved are crucial and the announcement that the National lottery is awarding money to help in the cause is very welcome and a sign that some of the wrongly placed negativity towards Trans’ people is hopefully changing. Similarly whilst I’m not a Corrie fan a big shout out to Kym Marsh who came along and support the event too.

Sparkle seems such a beautiful and yet fragile event. For me personally the big thing other than the main event, was how in the village bars and clubs there was such a mix of people. Trans, Lesbians, Gay, straight - even a few hen parties passed through. Everyone just having a great time. Sparkle was not only about a Transgender celebration but a celebration about empowering each of us to be free to be us without worry regarding usual restrictive gender binary labelling.

Thank you Sparkle ;)

Education 3.3

So following on from my previous post about hate crime and the earlier one entitled Education, Education, Education, I’d like to direct you to Sam Killerman and his work on education people about Gender.

The TEDx Talk is really entertaining and worth a watch. If you’d like to know more this is Sam’s website.

Hate & Fear

Citizens Advice define a hate crime as an act of "violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are."

You know, every time I think of my blog I think I’ll do something about fashion or make-up and then something barges in from the side. It’s really an issue of priority and this is something I really didn’t want to do a blog about but, well… it’s a truth. I noticed a level of this personally when replying to a You Tube post on Caitlyn Jenna recently.

Whilst not all negative there was a contingent of comments which seemed irrational and based in dogma rather than thought.

So this was sitting in my mind when I was listening to Cami's Crossdressing Canopy Podcast and she mentioned how someone shouted swearing at her in public but not because she was dressed or presenting fem’ but simply because she was in an Asian country and she was western? Bigoted hate actions are not just aimed at Trans’ people obviously. Cami’s take on this is you will always find people who disagree or hate you but this shouldn’t taint your self belief.

This is mirrored in the main point of this article which is a BBC news report on how LGBT people experience hate crime 'too often’.

The article refers to Talulah Eve Brown who appears to be a really savvy and lovely individual who can rise above the hate she receives.

My point of view is fairly simple on all this. Blanket statement I know! Usually people who appear to hate irrationally are actually frightened. People can be hated because of their colour, gender, age, or many other reasons other than something they have actually done. Or like Cami, simply being from another place.

Most bias racism or any ‘ism’ can be described the same. Maybe it’s easier to react rather than think and deal with people as individuals? This is not an excuse and I have no sagely advice on how to handle it other than I believe how you face the world determines to some degree how the world reflects back upon yourself. Try not to react against their reaction and like Talulah hold to your belief and course. I admit I’m not always the best at taking my own advice.

Have belief in you. Treat others with politeness and compassion. And if you are a victim of abuse think: why are these people like this? Maybe their world is not so wonderfully coloured as yours? Maybe you should feel sorry for them…

This will not stop some of the more violent acts and it's very much easier said than done, but worth some thought.

Call Me Caitlyn

Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner on Vanity Fair Cover. Another positive cover story...

News links:
Yahoo
BBC Newsbeat
YouTUBE

In a word - Progress

It’s so nice to see a positive article posted on the BBC website, 27 May 2015. A large step for Manobi Bandyopadhyay and another small step for human equality.

Achievement!

It's a year on so, Conchita… does she pass, and importantly should she pass?

You see, most but not all of the issues to do with F2M or M2F evolve around one issue. What we define as male and what we define as female. Without these binaries there would be no X2X. I have said before, I love and respect the fact there is a male and female binary BUT believe strongly that there should be room between these for more expression.

For those of us lucky enough to live in a society where women have ‘mostly’ equal rights to men, our definitions of male and female in reality largely come down to what we see. Passing is about how we act and our fashion. Our manner and appearance.

Check off both those boxes and Achievement Unlocked - Passing!

Leave one out and you fail.

For many, if not most M2F and F2M they really want to pass. However some people feel they shouldn’t need to conform to this gender binary. Personally I feel both ways depending on my day. I dress totally female when I can with the intent of being able to pass but on a day to day basis I just want the ‘right’ to be me and wear what the hell I want. Is that to much to ask? 

Do we have, or should we have, a society where an individual has the right to express themselves as they feel they are, not as others would like them to be, within the realms of the law and decency and the situation of course! How free and creative are we as a society? I feel this is less an issue for women than men. This is well put in this quote from Eleanor Roberts of the Beaumont Society.

“Most of the Male-to-Female (MtF) transgender community are part-time crossdressers who need opportunities to dress/make-up as a woman one or two evenings a week. This is often enough to release the pent-up pressure and keep a marriage & family together. Women in the same situation do not need this; women's fashion is wide enough to allow them masculine styles of dress/hair if they wish without attracting condemnation.”

Eleanor Roberts (Beaumont Society)

I felt that it was an interesting choice of words “without attracting condemnation.” Condemnation could sound strong but even a disapproving frown from someone is a form of condemnation. I would agree with the sentiment as simply put, it is more socially acceptable to pass as the opposite gender than be ambiguous because it’s easier on peoples brains. Humans love to be able to classify things which is mostly good and has allowed us to evolve. However like any skill, it’s misuse limits our development. 

I personally feel people should be allowed to wear what they feel expresses themselves and they feel good in. You have to admit it would be a far more interesting world? As Eddie Izzard said,

“They aren’t women's clothes they are mine, I paid for them.”

Please, please for the love of Pete, can someone give me a reasonable argument why a man shouldn’t wear a dress in public? Other than 'because it's the way it is or has been'. Maybe I’ve just missed a lesson somewhere?

So to sum up, “being accepted” and “passing” are two different things. And passing makes being accepted almost a default state. Being accepted when not conforming to a gender stereotype is very difficult.

We are very social creatures and being accepted for being yourself is important. Maybe it’s time we opened up our vocabulary to allow people (some of us at least) to express themselves and be themselves more easily.

Surely the strength and beauty in humanity rests in it's diversity.

So what do I think about Conchita… does she pass, and importantly should she pass?

No she doesn’t pass as society describes a female, but more importantly she passes for being herself and we should all admire that even more!

And you, are you - you?

Links to pages on passing:

Thetransgenderpartner

passing tips

Drawn to Dresses

"Over the past six years there's been a four-fold increase in children aged 10 or under being referred to the unit in 2014-15, compared with 2009-10. Of those children, 47 were aged five or younger and two of the children were three years old."

BBC news article about two young Transgender girls and their change and schooling. It can be especially difficult for parents who, of all people, are more prone to mapping their expectations on their children. As usual with the BBC a sober account but a sign of the times non the less.

Link - The story of two transgender children

Assophobia

Fashion Labels

Ok so not talking about the brands as labels but us girls n guys as genders.

Saw this in a store the other day and think it's so worth posting despite being mass consumer fashion. 

I just wish it hadn't been embedded into a "Woman’s" only section. Personally I buy clothes from the Woman’s section without worrying but thinking about it why do they even have a Mens and Woman’s section? Can anyone really let me know a good reason? And yes I know men and women are slightly different shapes but all people are, aren’t they?

Surely a store would be better off just saying "hey, look at all the great clothes / products we sell for “EVERYONE" or maybe I'm being silly?

Oh and this picture too in Superdrug on the Strand.

So the whole shop is not for men? lol - I could so see a comedy sketch in this.

On the same subject this article was pointed out to me about similar issues even though the content seems more glitz than grit.

Selfridges is launching 'gender-neutral' shopping

That's it for this one, unless you've got something to add? x

On the shores of an evolutionary ocean

(There are quite a few TED talk links in this post)

So I confess this blog goes somewhat beyond gender issues per se, but hey if your gonna dream, dream of dragons! As an inspirational start point I offer this short clip of Peter Weyland's 2023 TED Talk, essentially a viral for Prometheus the Movie.

The focus of this post is pretty simple. What does it mean to be trans in the much, much, broader sense? The short answer is almost every human is Trans - they just don’t know it. In the same way as we don’t appreciate that we travel through the universe at 390 kilometers per second - most just don’t see the changes so they don't know or want to believe.

Not one of us can really see the future. Saying this or that will happen in ten or fifteen years is not the point. The point is our journey and our attitude whilst moving along it. It is often mentioned that we predict landscape of the future from the perspective of the landscape the past, which may be true. But that shouldn’t mean we should be limited in our potential view of the future. Or put anther way, why accept yesterdays limitations today - or tomorrow.

As an example this article describes a woman of over 100 years old who despite only living 400 miles from the ocean had never seen it before. I use it as a metaphor to show how the future can be more...

And so on to today and tomorrow. Some time ago I watched this TED talk on the next stage of human evolution, “Homo-evolutus”. Or read the perhaps easier to digest blog - HighExistance.

It describes how humans will soon be in a position to determine their physical and possibly mental evolution on a needs or want’s basis to a point where defining exactly what a human is, may be difficult. In many ways I’d argue that M2F and F2M Trans people have been initiating this process for decades. Leading the way as it were emotionally if not technologically. But the real point on this talk (to me and this post) really implies that if we think changing your gender is radical, in the future people will wonder why we were concerned about such relatively minor change?

Looking further ahead, and nothing directly to do with Trans issues, other than the acceptance that we can and should have the right to be able to be what we want to be - is what comes after Homo-evolutus or what next?

I would argue Homo-evolutus may become or may better be called Homo-potentialus?

So, we are on the verge of the intelligence revolution which will change our society in far greater ways than the industrial revolution ever did. See this TED talk for reference. If you want to skip the first 7 mins that’s when the stats come in ;)

The outcome of this can only be what I’d term Homo-potentialus, meaning worrying about a fixed gender (a fixed anything) is like a caveman arguing with an astronaut, about how far they can throw a rock.

Like many stories or posts on this subject most of us in our daily lives don't have any direct control over the issues mentioned. However, like a passenger in an increasingly speeding car, we can learn how to lean into the corners and be empathetic to the changes.

So it is about attitude and how we use our minds. As humans we now rarely fight for patches of earth or the carcass, at least as individuals. Yet the old attitudes persist with some. Let us evolve. Let us be more. Let us be more than we were told we should be, could be. For you will always be you. Now isn't that trans' at heart?

As a sign off I quote Rocket Racoon from Guardians of the Galaxy...

“Ain't no thing like me 'cept me.”

I couldn't find the right clip on You Tube so if you want to see the actual quote , you'll need to watch the movie :)