like a girl

Is there a basic and general problem with femininity? Not just for a guy but for a girl? It just seems to me that there is a connection between how men relate to women and how society relates to crossdressers or anyone in a transitionary gender?

This is a general point and whilst there are many enlightened people in the world I think they tend to be overcast by the majority on this issue, as it is a fairly deep social one.

So the point is. Does society (regardless of gender) view femininity as a negative? Whilst there are rare accounts of the matriarchal role in human civilisation and society one can’t help but imagine the battle they had to go through to get there, being a very rare exception to the rule.

In the past it was the loudness of your voice and your strength or aggression that often dictated your leadership candidate. Add intelligence and you had an even better chance. By and large it was a male dominated world often for fair reason especially in day to day dealings where most religions down talked the role of women. Many still do…

In this climate a culture of down-talking females and their ability was almost natural. Individuals or families maybe didn’t see it this way but culture and society did. As Kay said on MiB

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” 

Unfortunately society is often a reflection of group mentality.

This commercial Ad’ shows how the terminology that we use in society can propagate dogmatic re-belief even by the victims of it - 

'Always' Like a girl Ad'

If a male want’s to allow themselves more feminine attributes (could be cross dressing or just wearing make up or simply being more sensitive) and someone insults them or talks them down, are they not often simply insulting femininity as a whole? I mean why would a man want to be like a woman in any way?!

Ever since the war effort exemplified by the poster above women have rightly gone on, not without issue to become more full members in society yet retained their rights to be feminine in places they work and clothes they wear. The right to wear make-up or not etc. Whilst men, like ancient guards at a city gate seem to have moved little in their self expression.

Deliberately provocative statement and not one I believe. However I do believe this is how many guys (and possibly girls) on the street understand it. So is the message here it’s ok for a woman to ’step-up’ to be more like a man, but not for a man to ’step-down’ and be more accepting of their feminine side. If so, do you believe it? Where do you place value in human society?

Feel Good

Sometimes being Trans / CD / Tgirl whatever can feel a little like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. But you know falling can be fun. It's the landing you need to worry about...

Okies so let's think of starting 2015 Feeling good. As I say, it's often not the best feeling to be Trans or whatever as we aren't the norm' and don't always appear to fit-in, but I like to look at the flip-side of this. In what is becoming a trademark I'm stealing bits of other things to put my point over. The first is taken from one of my regular emails from,

Steppingoutsecrets

Lucille Sorella gave ten benefits to being Transgender but I've whittled it down to five as I thought the others, whilst valid could easily apply to say, hiking or aerobics ;)

Five very good things about being Transgender

1. It allows you to integrate the best of both genders into your personality.  
2. It motivates you to stay in shape and take care of yourself. (A girl’s gotta look good, right?)
3. It makes you more empathetic towards women.
4. It makes you an interesting person. (Normal is boring!)
5. It gives you more compassion towards others who don’t fit the norms of society. Important one that!

My second piece of inspiration comes from Avril Lavigne's "Anything but Ordinary" track. You can hear it on You tube here,

Avril Lavigne - Anything but ordinary

But it's really the lyrics that make it. Here is the main section and it describes very well how I often feel and in some way I'm proud of being and well, it makes me feel good!

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I 
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see 
that this world is a beautiful 
accident turbulent suculent 
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it 
Don't wanna waste it.

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

Equal rights? Not according to the DMV in the USA.

DMV forces gender non-conforming South Carolina teen to remove makeup for license photo

Hardly a new article but I don’t think the DMV should tell people they can’t wear make up. Oh, wait a moment, they don’t say that to girls, only boys. And there was I under the mistaken belief men and women should have equal rights and be treat as people?

I think this boy, which is how he identifies, looked fine. The make up was tasteful and not in any way overdone or a ‘disguise’. Still some work to be done on equality I think!

Here is the original article link,

DMV forces gender non-conforming South Carolina teen to remove makeup for license photo

Girly-Boy

So I was prompted to add this to the blog as it just makes sense to me and it will probably directly apply to most readers or passers by. In addition to the TED talk posted here:

Johanna Blakley: Social media and the end of gender - TED talk

I was inspired by ‘steppingoutsecrets.com’

Stepping Out Secrets - Male to Female Transformation Program 

Quote from Stepping Out Secrets,

Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look girly enough NOT to stand out in a negative way - even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a genetic woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.

And so to my blog bit.

Jodie is the name I chose to explore my gender but it's not the first I've used in the journey and may well not be the name I'd chose were I to 'technically' transition fully - whatever that means. Currently I don’t really intend being a full-on-girl. Arn't I really just exploring me?

Either way, being man or woman in the modern and future world should be about being a person first and a gender second. This is slowly happening for both women and men. The difference is women are generally more open and encouraging whereas men typically resist internal change. This again is probably largely due to survival traits dating back over the centuries if not millennia.

So on the question as to which side of the fence do I sit - or do I sit on the fence?

Answer - Well I really don’t see the fence.

I understand that there are those who are transitioning with a clear goal but I don’t feel that’s where I’m at. If you are, I wish you gods speed and the best of futures.

For myself and the others in a form of happy gender limbo, hopefully we can all relax a little more at Christmas and enjoy being rather than trying to be too much more. Until 2015!

Mr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde?

Two puns in that title if you read it right ;)

So a less serious, simple shout out about self expression to those who understand, and those don’t. For several years I’ve done this. Yes the image, that’s me. All started out as a ‘wouldn’t it be cool if’ and is rapidly turning into a OMFG, I had no idea I could feel this good about myself!

Being able to allow the thought of vulnerability and self expression into your life for most guys growing up, is a life sentence of tribal bullying. I know there are good evolutionary reasons for this tribal ganging up just like there were great reasons for people to live in caves... once upon a time. Personally I managed to work my way around the problem by being sensible and generally giving as good as I got. BUT, it didn’t make me feel good and I disliked being that way. I guess each of us can't be uniquely human without being warped in some way? 

You see it’s not just what it looks like. It’s what it feels like, inside. It allows you to shift a gear in your mind. Call it therapy ;)

Guys are being marginalised in the modern world. Not by women. By common sense and marketing - Oh yeah, and by guys and some girls who buy into the past. You see, strength and masculinity are not the same thing. Go work it out for yourself if you don’t understand.

I accept that sometimes if a guy goes girly it can be simply a pendulum like reaction against their alter ego, but not always. Then we’re into the discussion of what ‘trans’ is. Let’s leave that for another day!

There are so many great things about being a girl: “Shopping, getting dolled up, being permitted to be ‘emotional’…” 

This quote inspired this blog post so I can't not post a link to the commercial site it's from. Lots of free advice if you sign up for emails. Personally I’ve never bought anything from there but I appreciate the site:
Feminization Secrets Site

I guess this is a cue also the a somewhat deeper story link I posted last time so I’ll repost it here:
The Guardian on kids and gender

Dusk and Dawn - Removing binary gender

Almost everything in nature we see and experience has varying degrees. There is night and day, but they can’t happen without dusk and dawn. Just so in people, There is male and female. But we ALL have elements in us. The traits of masculinity and femininity are to be found in both. We are all just people. It’s only for reproduction that it really matters.

When does black become white? When does Young become old? When does male become female? These are NOT binaries. These are scales. Nature is nothing without scale or increment. Binaries are reference points only, not descriptions of what you do day to day. Day to day you need to grow! Similarly on gender, I totally respect the alpha male and female scenario. Indeed I love it! If you are a male and live by engine grease, great. If you are female and love make-up and dressmaking - go for it. But that doesn’t mean we all must live it every day.

For more time than I remember I have strived to subdue my more traditionally feminine feelings. I have crushed them. I have psychologically insulted them. I have hated myself. My story isn’t one of a female trapped in a males body. I don’t feel that. I only feel I want to be me. And as I can only assume that I am not unique, that many others may also feel similar?

I reject my programming. And at the minimum, you should question your’s and that of your children. Every time you speak to your child, your friend, your partner and say something like, “women drivers!”, “men can’t multitask” or “it’s a baby girl so let’s get her something pink” you are the program…

By all means get a boy blue or a girl pink, but do it because it’s for that person, not the label. You are creating their destiny.

So please consider allowing a little more rainbow light into the world. There’s more than the heat of the midday sun or the cold dark of night.

Links:

The Guardian on gender programming

BBC on Ladybird books dropping gender titles

Very moving Telegraph article on the same Ladybird story

Mirror article on male model being used for a bra ad

You tube on the same ad

Why?

Okies so I just thought I'd begin a blog and here is the place to start. So I thought I'd ask WHY. Why am I so fem and WHY are you so fem or not? What is the catalyst and what is the motivation? I'd love to hear from other Tgirls out there whatever your level of fem-ness.

I've been dressing since I was 6 or so. Originally I think I was just intrigued but as I got into my teens it felt right. And yes there is a big sexual element naturally. But mostly I just get a huge thrill at living when I can be more girly.

I'm not saying I even want to dress 100% all the time but even just being able to wear tight female jeans instead of baggy, drab guy jeans would be good. Certainly wouldn't wear heels all the time, heaven forbid.

And so I come to another aspect. I so hate being told what to do or wear. Another reason I dress. A lesser one perhaps but it's still there. I'm sure if I was born a girl I'd be a tomboy.

And I think my point is WHY NOT. Why should we not be able to dress and represent ourselves more openly without it seeming so odd to most?

So what do others think?

Experimenting!

Hello everyone,

Okies so page number one! Feeling a lot like Lisa Simpson doing the novel thing, lol. But really this is just to test the formatting etc.

Jodie x