Trapped in a preconception

One of my very first posts was asking the question “Why” Why do I and possibly some others, like to dress in clothes generally ascribed to persons of an opposite sex? In this post I’ll look at this a little more. I’ll start at crossdressing and go on to gender. This is not an A-Z but a short and incomplete blog….

On Crossdressing

To start, a good short article covering why people crossdress can be found here.

…but for those who don’t want to go read it; the summary of the article is that there are three main reasons as to why men crossdress:

1 - sexual gratification
2 - express the feminine side of their personality
(comfort, and reduced stress / because it feels good.)
3 - experience the "power of a woman."
(it is very stimulating and intoxicating)

I’d agree with point 1 as to why many men dress. And if this is the sole reason a man dresses then it may actually be a confirmation on their masculinity and simple attraction to women in an odd way. Not always of course.

Whilst I do relate to point 1, I feel Point 2 describes me the best with a dash of point 3 thrown in for good measure.

On Gender

Before I carry on this YouTube is a good and relatively short into onto gender if you need to brush up.

Sorry it won't play in my blog I'm just not that techie!

Points 2 and 3 above are in the context of a release mechanism from the gender binary. An outlet valve for a cultural system that doesn’t wholly work. The word crossdressing itself is somewhat antiquated and assumes there are only two types of people in the world. Women, who can wear pretty much anything they want most of the time and then men, who have a severely limited and often dull wardrobe. Hence the term ‘drag and drab’. Of course gender goes far beyond just fashion and how we present ourselves but people tend to judge books by covers so lets stick with this for this blog.

We all want to be accepted for who we feel we are inside and have that seen as such on the outside. Living and presenting on the outside as someone who you don’t genuinely feel to be inside is not a pleseant feeling. For many ‘men’ the odd evening ’crossdressing’ is enough of a release to allow them to continue to conform to the prescribed gender binary uniform of tradition the rest of the time.

I love getting fully ’dressed up’. Even if I could all the time I wouldn't all of the time. Speak to anyone who wears make-up and high heels etc regardless of there gender or sex and it does require more work than pulling on jeans and some trainers. Tight can jeans rock for me as much as a skirt and sitting around the house in a pair of jogging bottoms is fine too for different reasons. Look at it the other way. There is very little I wear every day that a genetic woman wouldn’t wear and feel comfortable in. Does that mean I crossdress every day? As I may have stated before, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body. I do however feel like an identity trapped in a preconception. 

Personally speaking I allow many of the traits of my more feminine side to merge into or simply influence my day to day life. This affects how I dress, look after myself, my choices and, to a degree how I relate to others. Don’t get me wrong, my masculine side is there too. For me my whole gender balance and my freedom of expression is what has become more prominent as the years move on. Our physical bodies are in a constant state of renewal and change. If our minds weren’t we wouldn’t be living creatures.

You are you, however you or someone else labels you. I don’t want to get all Matrix/Morpheus or Zen on you here, but you cannot, not, be you. The confusion comes about because for most of the world all we do is act our role as described by society, and a role is so much more than the clothes you wear.

In 1599 or so Shakespeare wrote in “As You Like It”, stating “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players…”

I'n not entirely sure if Shakespeare actually knew how accurately this describes the human condition as it transcends male and female. Our confusion is because we’re trying to define a role that many in 21st century society simply don’t see - yet. The ‘yet’ is important.

So back to the question. Why do I dress and why do I allow it to affect my life? Because quite simply - it’s who I am and I am human. Now; define human without using the future or potential as a meaningful reference?

The above image I found via another good blog but honestly can't find the original link. I think I got surf crazy that day!